Those of us who are married know very, very well that when you marry someone you also marry their entire family. Yes, that includes the weird uncle and the nosey cousin. It also includes the mother-in-law.

One new wife didn’t realize how much her mother-in-law disliked her until she went on a family vacation with her husband’s family. She shared on Reddit that she “always got the impression that my husband’s parents didn’t like me,” but she didn’t have any proof. They were nice enough to her face, but they were also “cold and indifferent.”

Then, during a family vacation she overheard a conversation that was definitely not intended for her ears. 

“Over the summer we went to a beach house and I overheard my MIL talking to her sister. The sister asked how she felt about me (we were newly married) and MIL said ‘I don’t hate her or anything, but honestly it sucks when for the rest of your life you have to invite someone you don’t want to to Christmas dinner.’”

Obviously, the new wife was offended. She didn’t confront her mother-in-law about what she overheard, but she did tell her husband. She also told him that she “didn’t ever want to go on another family vacation or holiday because of what she said, and he said he could understand.”

Fast forward a few months, and now her husband is upset that she doesn’t want to spend the holidays with his family. He thought she would “get over it.” She shared that this disagreement about how to spend the holidays has been causing “tension,” and she’s not sure who’s right and who’s wrong.

The new wife decided to turn to Reddit to ask if she’s wrong “for refusing to go to my in laws house for the holidays after what I overheard?”

The majority of the comments seem to be leaning in her favor saying that the husband should step up and confront his mother about what his wife heard.

One comment reads, “Your husband is the person who need to step up here. You all need to have a family talk, initiated by him. If you do that now, the tension of the future holidays will be somewhat alleviated. If he puts his head in the sand, you will be miserable. I would advise against just flat out refusing to go. If you have a family meeting and she acts terribly towards you, then it’s fine to not go.”

Another person wrote, “Your husband should have your back. He should also ask his mother what her issue is.”

Then there are the comments that recommend starting new family traditions as husband and wife. For example, one person suggested, “When my in-laws offended us in a similar manner, rather than make it obvious we didn’t want to be around them, we just made new traditions for our own family surrounding all the holidays throughout the year. So conveniently we are busy when invited to see them for holidays After a couple of years, it became clear that our new traditions were around to stay, and it’s been fine ever since.”

How would you react if you found out your mother-in-law didn’t want to spend Christmas with you?