It’s the most wonderful time of the year—isn’t it? Most of the time, people love the jolly vibe that the Christmas season brings. From holiday lights to hot cocoa and carolers singing outside, it’s truly a happy time.

But something about the season that can fuel fires and create drama can be gift-giving. Finding the perfect gift for everyone on your list can be downright hard! Some people thrive off of making sure each gift perfectly tailors to their friends’ and family’s interests, but others simply buy things because they feel they have to or got a good deal. And that never bodes well for a good gift!

This was something that one Redditor realized about the holiday season. You see, she was the one who always carefully chose her gifts for her receivers. “The gifts I give other’s are always personalized if I haven’t been asked for specific items,” she explains in her post. “I listen and use their hobbies and interests to make sure they’re a hit. One of my favorite things was the shot of euphoria when they opened their present and were speechless.”

However, she never feels like it’s reciprocated—and, even though it may sound bad, she never likes the gifts she gets.

“I try to not be spoiled but my whole life I haven’t felt thought of in the gifts I receive. I never show it and always act thankful to be polite,” she says. “It comes time for me to open gifts and it’s a generic set of headphones much worse than the ones I own in colours I hate. A face wash and candle set I can never use with sensitive skin and allergies. A mug with a weird meme on it that is no inside joke between us that won’t fit in my cabinet with a matching set already inside.”

This girl really feels pretty annoyed about it. Why can’t her friends and family get her a gift that she’d really like? After all, she does it for them each and every holiday, which really takes a lot of effort. “I can’t think of a gift I’ve received that wasn’t donated or stuffed in a box in storage, yet every gift I’ve given others is still on display, used, talked about, or complimented when seen. Why don’t I deserve that effort?” she writes.

She continues to explain that, after finding a stash of completely impersonal gifts that her husband had bought her for this year, she cracked and refuses to buy anyone gifts this year. In fact, she wound up returning all the gifts she bought everyone and buying herself her own preferences. She even wrapped them up and put them under the tree.

However, now she’s feeling a little guilty about it and wants to know if she’s being the jerk in the situation.

The Reddit world as spoken: She is NOT a jerk. In fact, a lot of people resonate with her story.

“I know exactly what you mean, because I feel pretty much the same way,” someone commented. “I really try very hard to select gifts that will please the receiver, but it seems that no one else bothers. Since you’ve told everyone else that you’re not gifting this year, it seems fair.”

“I experience the same thing,” another agreed. “Last year my mom got me a bunch of clothes I don’t care for and one pair of leggings in a size 2 (not a size 2 or close to it). Another year she got me 4 packages of Earl Grey tea (my least favorite kind of tea). This year in the gift exchange app, I put restrictions so she can’t be my secret Santa, lol.”

What do you think—is this woman a jerk, or being fair? Do you ever feel the way she does around the holidays?