19 Parents Share Their Most Relatable Kid Bedtime Struggles
If you’re a parent, you know the struggle of bedtime. You know, the agony of getting your kid’s pajamas on, getting them to brush their teeth, and then getting them to actually sleep without asking for at least 16 glasses of water or approximately 102 storybooks read to them.
Let us parents unite about just how awful bedtime really can be. Below, 19 parents share their most relatable kid bedtime struggles. Get ready to laugh—and maybe cry, too.
Made-Up Bedtime Songs
“Mama, one more lullaby?”“I can’t think of any more- GOODNIGHT!”“pleeeasse?”*sigh* ummm“Tommy used to work on the docks… Union’s been on strike, he’s down on his luck, it’s tough..”
— RachRiot (@RachRiot) September 12, 2018
What circle of Hell have you entered when your 4 and 2 year-olds synch up their bedtime tantrums?
— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) May 24, 2020
Sometimes iT literally Takes 12 Hours
If I insisted on getting my kids to bed by 7:00 every night, I’d have to start their bedtime routine just after breakfast.
— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) May 22, 2016
When You Play Reverse Psychology
[bedtime]SON: Can you leave the light on?ME: So it’ll be easier for the monsters to find you?SON: What?ME: What?
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) February 5, 2019
There Are Many Tears Involved
Me: Alright, there’s no more crying during the bedtime routine. Husband: Okay.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 8, 2020
Bribery Works Wonders
The game show Let’s Make A Deal,but me bribing my kids to stay in bed.
— Marl (@Marlebean) May 2, 2016
They Don’t Want to Do Anything Until You Say The Magic Words
kids:kids:kids:kids:me: it’s bedtimekids: ok hold on we have to build a house, write a book, perform surgery, travel for business, can you cut my nails and also [projectile vomitting]me: MF!!!!
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 16, 2020
The Angry “I Love You”
If you’ve never said “I love you too” in a way that sounds a tad bit angry, then you must not have kids you are trying to put to bed.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 1, 2016
The List That Never Ends
I don’t get why people think getting kids to bed is hard all my son needs is:A drink of water4 songs from DaddyA trip to the pottySuperman flight to bed An inventory of his stuffed animalsA tissue2 more songs Look at my watch for 45 seconds And all of this 7 more times
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) March 17, 2019
The No Nap Wrath
You think your kid will go to sleep earlier & easier because he didn’t have a nap THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS DUMBASS WELCOME TO HELL
— keith (@tchrquotes) September 8, 2015
The Longest “One” Item There Was
me: it’s bedtime nowkid: please let me do just ONE thingme: okkid: *starts watching one movie*
— The Dad (@thedad) October 25, 2019
All of the Impossible Questions
Important bedtime question from my 6-year-old…In the underworld, how do you tell which skeleton is which? Do they have skeleton hair?
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) July 29, 2020
Prolonging Bedtime Stories…
[reading bedtime stories]Daughter: what’s his name?Me: spot.Daughter: what’s her name? Me: daisy.Daughter: what’s his name?Me: [sigh] I don’t know, brian.Wife: what are you reading?Me: 101 Dalmatians.Wife: lol [closes door].Daughter: what’s his na-
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) November 29, 2019
…Or Attempting to Skip Them Altogether
I am the Michael Jordan of skipping pages with a lot of words in my kid’s bedtime story.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 20, 2020
Physics Are Involved
Me: “You’re going to bed in 5 minutes.”6yo: *bends the laws of space and time to make 5 minutes last 4 hours*
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 17, 2017
The Struggle of Accidental Eye Contact
Never, & I mean NEVER make eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep.They will sense your excitement & abort mission! #momlife
— 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭.𝐜𝐨𝐦 (@CaffeineandF) November 14, 2015
One Viscous Cycle
Have you ever been so tired you let your kid stay up because the thought of the bedtime routine is too exhausting but then you can’t go to bed because you let your kid stay up because the thought of the bedtime routine is too exhausting but then…
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) November 19, 2019
All. The. WATER.
Bedtime diary 8:32 pm: the children have never been so thirsty. They need water. Lots of water. And ice. 3 cubes to be exact. NOT THAT CUP!
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 30, 2015
Dare to Dream
You ever watch a scene so ridiculous it just ruins the whole movie? I saw one last night where the dad read his kid a single bedtime book then the kid said “goodnight” and closed his eyes peacefully. Absurd.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 15, 2019
Are you a parent? What’s your bedtime struggle?