Sometimes couples find it easy to get pregnant. They decide they want to have a baby, and a month or two later, the pregnancy test is positive. It almost seems too easy.
Other couples struggle for months or even years, praying that one day God will let them have the family they desire.
What isn’t talked about as much is the struggle that some parents have conceiving a second or third child. It’s easy to think that if you already have one child your body must be able to do that again. It’s especially easy to think this way if the first child were easy to conceive.
Today Show co-anchor Dylan Dreyer was one of those lucky people who found it incredibly easy to get pregnant the first time. Her son, Calvin, was delivered via emergency c-section, and he is now 2 years old.
Dreyer and her husband, Brian Fichera, decided about 9 months ago that they wanted to give Calvin a brother or sister. They saw how sweet and loving he was towards other babies, and they wanted to give him the joy of having a sibling.
They assumed it would be incredibly easy to get pregnant since it was so easy the first time. After about 6 months with no positive pregnancy tests, Dreyer went to her OB-GYN.
That’s when Dreyer learned about something called secondary infertility. That’s basically when a woman already has a child but is having trouble having additional children. It’s usually considered infertility when a woman has tried to get pregnant for a year without any success, but for women over the age of 35, that time frame drops to 6 months. Dreyer is 37 years old.
Dreyer also found out that her uterus had excessive scar tissue from her c-section. She had surgery to have the scar tissue removed and hoped for the best.
Almost immediately, Dreyer took a pregnancy test, and it came up positive. She and her husband were thrilled. They thought this was what they had been praying for.
Five weeks later, Dreyer woke up bleeding heavily. She was devastated and told her husband, “I think I lost the baby.”
His response to her was so sweet, sincere and helpful. He said, “You didn’t lose the baby. It’s your body doing what it needs to do. YOU didn’t do anything wrong.”
Dryer found it incredibly difficult to get through her day at work on the TODAY Show with a smile on her face. She said, “I’m devastated, and I have to go to work on the TODAY Show and be happy and smiling and pretend like nothing’s wrong.”
Now, instead of hiding her feelings, she’s using the TODAY Show as a platform to shed light on miscarriage and secondary infertility. Watch the video below to hear Dreyer discuss her experience, her feelings, and what’s next for her on this journey.
Do you know anyone who has suffered from secondary infertility?