We know that planning a wedding can be very stressful for a bride. While it is a big day for both the bride and groom, the bride has sometimes been dreaming about this day since she was a little girl. She wants the perfect venue, flowers, catering, music. The list goes on, but more than anything, she wants to look her absolute best.

A bride does not want to be upstaged at her own wedding. She doesn’t want her bridesmaids getting more attention than her. She doesn’t want everyone talking about how good a wedding guest looks. She wants to be the center of attention.

We get it. We really do. But that doesn’t mean that the bride has the right to make other people in her life feel bad about looking good.

Reddit user Late-Water-9669 is worried that she made a mistake by losing weight without telling her family ahead of time. She explained, “I’ve always been the ‘fat sister.'” She added, “I have made many changes in my life and have successfully lost almost 100lbs. I don’t live close to any of my family and don’t post on social media so my family wasn’t really aware of my weight loss.”

She did tell her family that she was making some healthy changes, but she didn’t say more than that because she had tried and failed to lose weight in the past.

Her sister is getting married. She explained, “I haven’t seen everyone in so long I decided to come down two weeks earlier to help out and catch up. Well, when I came to see my family my sister freaked out upon seeing me.”

It turns out that the sister has gained a few pounds and is now the chubbier sister. “She basically accused me of trying to upstage her and my parents are fully taking her side.”

This leaves the sister who lost weight wondering if she did something wrong by losing so much weight and surprising her family with the weight loss. She turned to Reddit to see what others think.

Many people commented that it’s ridiculous to accuse someone of losing so much weight just to upstage her sister at her wedding. One person wrote, “It’s hard to change your eating habits and learn how to make them work long term, not just as a diet specifically for losing weight. Plus losing that amount of weight has plenty of other struggles, urges to binge on cravings, working on impulse control, working and staying motivated through plateaus…No wonder you kept your weight loss/health journey to yourself for the most part, they seem unsupportive and just downright mean to you.”

Another comment reads, “As someone who fought their way from 360 to 140, CONGRATS!!!! I know you worked hard and should be proud. Losing weight is a lot harder then people think. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. You made it through, now go out and enjoy your healthy self.”

Yet another Reddit user explained something similar happened to her. She wrote, “I had a similar thing happen when I lost 50 pounds before my brother’s wedding. No accusations of me trying to ‘upstage’ her, but my SIL was VERY cold towards me. I don’t hold it against her though because I was getting attention and compliments. It was her day, I’m sure she was annoyed that anything was detracting from it.”

Another comment sums it up well. “If someone DID actually lose weight for the purpose of upstaging someone at that person’s wedding, that would be an AH move. But you looking good and other people having gotten a little chubbier isn’t on you.”

Yet another person added a comment with a great suggestion about how to move forward. “They need to sit and have a rational discussion. The sister is most likely insecure and feeling upstaged and since she wasn’t aware of how much weight her sister lost, she’s reacting out of shock. To be fair, a good amount of attention will be directed towards her sisters weight loss and it’s also a huge reminder of her own weight gain and this is her wedding. The family needs to be supportive towards both girls. It’s a very sensitive situation. They need an immediate and mediated family meeting before any permanent or damaging decisions are made.”

Would you be upset if a sister or friend who was always very overweight showed up at your wedding thinner than you? Do you think the bride is right to be upset? Do you think the sister who lost weight did anything wrong?