It has been an emotional year for Valerie Bertinelli. Just like for any of us, there have been highs and lows, but her highs and lows have been extremely high and extremely low.

On the positive end of the spectrum, Bertinelli’s son, Wolfgang Van Halen, was nominated for a Grammy. His music career is going well, and as a mom, Bertinelli is over the moon excited for him.

On the negative end of the spectrum, her ex-husband and her son’s father, Eddie Van Halen, passed away. He died of throat cancer in a hospital in Santa Monica, California. His wife, Janie Liszewski, broke the news, but Bertinelli was also by her ex-husband’s side in the hospital.

Bertinelli and Van Halen had a rocky relationship post divorce, but they managed to reconcile and were on friendly terms before he got sick. In an interview with TODAY’s Hoda Kotb, Bertinelli opened up about her relationship with Van Halen before he passed away saying she wishes they’d had more time together.

Despite being on good terms with her ex, Bertinelli, who has been divorced two times, vows that she will never get married again. She claims that she is happy being single.

Watch the video below to see Bertinelli’s emotional interview where she explains why she doesn’t want to get married again and what her relationship was like with Van Halen before he passed away.

Later on the same episode of TODAY, Bertinelli sat down with Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager. Among other things, the actress and chef said that she’s not checking her weight. She explained that she knows she is struggling internally and can’t even think about losing weight until she’s healthy on the inside. She said, “I’m looking at myself in the monitor and trying not to judge myself too harshly right now because I know that I’m still holding on to this weight because it’s protecting me right now. Because I’m going through a lot of challenges. A lot of heartbreak. A lot of crazy stuff is going on in my life right now.”

Even though life has been difficult for Bertinelli recently, she is choosing to try to look at the bright side as much as possible. She explained, “When it’s the darkest is when you can start to see the light all around you, and that’s when you can see that there is good in everyone’s life. And that there is gratitude to be had and gratitude is that staircase that we have to climb to get to joy, no matter how difficult, how challenging, how desperate, we may feel sometimes, there’s always something to be grateful for.”