Growing up, you take away a lot of life lessons from your parents. However, you may not realize until much later in life that not everything your parents teach you is something you fully agree with. And do you really want to pass down to your own kids something that you can’t get behind? Probably not!

In a recent Reddit thread, people shared the frustrating “lesson” they learned from their parents that they’d never teach to their own kids. Here are the top responses.

  1. “Clean Your Plate.”

    “As a registered dietitian I can say that this is hands down the worst thing you can do to your kids eating habits. It destroys their internal hunger and satiety cues later in life.”

  2. “It’s All or Nothing.”

    “My father always said that you should do something perfectly or don’t start at all…terrible advice since now I’m a real perfectionist that awaits perfect conditions. Give it your best but always try would have been way better advice.”

  3. “Money is Everything.”

    “I spent so much of my childhood walking on eggshells because of my mom’s constant anxiety over money. If I ever asked for anything, she’d look at me like I was about to put her into financial ruin.”

  4. “Your Father is Always Right.”

    “Even if he is wrong you must still obey him, because he is your father.”

  5. “Eat Less Food.”

    “Shaming me for being overweight but failing to teach me good eating habits. A lot of the females in my family have a TERRIBLE relationship with food and that is exactly how I was brought up. My parents would always comment on my weight whenever I started gaining. It took me 26 years to finally have a healthy relationship with food. I basically had to educate myself.”

  6. “What Others Think Matters.”

    “The ‘what will people say’ when you make x decision. This has prevented me from doing a lot of things in life for myself. If you have Asian parents you will understand this is a big deal because they want their kids to look good to others in the community. So a lot of our decision making even as adults come at the expense of what will some random person think of me if I do this.”

  7. “Turn the Other Cheek.”

    “To ignore someone who’s being mean to you. I wish I had learned to stick up for myself. My husband was taught the opposite. It’s ok to hit someone if they threw the first punch. I would like to teach my children somewhere in between that!”

  8. “Definitely Have Kids.”

    “I have no intention of having kids in the future, no do I have the intention of getting married. My mom always says she hopes I get husband and kids, but its not what I want. Whenever something happens, like something kid related, she always goes, ‘you’ll understand when you have kids.’ ‘I’m not planning on kids.’ ‘That’s what I thought before, too.’ But honestly, she keeps pushing the idea.”

  9. “Hide Your True Feelings.”

    “My parents taught me not to share my feelings. It has taken me a long time to be able to do this. I don’t want my kids hiding their feelings.”

  10. “Stress Isn’t OK.”

    “Everyone gets stressed whether it’s something big and life changing or small and inconvenient. Growing up my sister and I always heard ’you shouldn’t be stressed about this.’ This isn’t a big thing to stress over” and stuff like that. Instead of being taught to manage our stress, we’ve learned to hide it and bottle it up so our parents wouldn’t think we’re dramatic or something. Instead of teaching kids to “not be stressed” I’d teach them how to manage stress in healthy ways so they can eliminate it or be able to navigate through it easily.”

  11. “How You Look is Super Important.”

    “My mom is otherwise wonderful but very insecure about her weight (she’s not overweight at all). I often got comments like ‘those jeans look cute but don’t gain 5lbs’ and lectures about how I can’t go out around other people without makeup because ‘what will people think?’ But its unfortunate because she genuinely believes people are judging her that much. She apologizes every time we video chat if she hasn’t put on makeup yet.”

  12. “Don’t Be Weak.”

    “They used to tell me that everything I was doing was wrong, and when I’d apologize, they’d yell at me for being ‘weak.’ Also, I wasn’t allowed to cry. At all. I was taught that crying anywhere just was annoying, and made you a nuisance. I still am damaged from thinking all my life that if I cried everyone would hate me forever.”

  13. “Never Question Your Authorities.”

    “If a person isn’t curious and doesn’t think by themselves about reality, they are only a shell of a human and will never fully live their own life. And it’s a tough thing to learn later in life.”

What’s the one thing you learned from your parents that you wouldn’t pass down to your own kids?