Typically, when you give someone a gift, especially when it’s your parent, they say thank you and, most likely, will take it home and use whatever it is. Sure, some people re-gift things, some people throw it in a closet and forget about it, but rarely does someone do those things right away—like, in front of the gift-giver. Unless you are a narcissist.

One woman and personal trainer named Tijana Daly explained in a now-viral TiKTok video how, over the years, her “narcissistic and toxic mother” had always rejected her Christmas gifts. Check it out below!

@tijanadaly##greenscreen merry Christmas yall. Stay mentally healthy ##toxicmom ##narcissisticparent♬ original sound – Tijana Daly

In the video, she discusses each gift in depth, why she got her mother the said gifts, and details on how and why her mother rejected them—right in front of her. When Tijana was just a 10-year-old kid, she got her mother ice skates. She loves to skate with her dad, but she always wanted her mother to go with her. However, she gave the ice skates right back. Yes, to her 10-year-old child, who was so excited to gift them.

As the years went on, the same trend continued. She got her lotions and sprays, and her mother literally left it under the tree for weeks, refusing to use it. She got her a wallet that her mother said was too big. She even tried a gift card, but her mother rejected that too, complaining that she never shops at the store the gift card was for and that she had no way to even get there.

As a last resort—and we think a great resort!—was the gift of an experience. She tried to give her mother a trip to Niagara Falls with her father, but her mother said that she’d rather not spend all that time with her husband (ha!). This time, at least she gave it back to Tijana and she was able to go on the trip with her own husband.

At this point, Tijana has stopped trying to give gifts, but she does want people to know some things about having toxic parents. “Unpacking trauma takes a village and a trauma-informed therapist will do wonders for your healing,” she said. “Otherwise, self-education is important on how to deal with narcissists. Fortunately, there is a ton of info available on social media right now to help.”

Additionally, it’s important not to place blame on yourself for their actions. “Throughout the process, remember that it is not your fault and you are worthy of a parent who respects and values your emotional health,” she said. And get out of there ASAP!”

Can you resonate with Tijana’s story about rejected gifts from a parent? What would you have done in her situation?