They say that when you get married, you’re not just marrying the person you love, you’re also marrying their entire family. There’s definitely truth here. For the rest of your married life, you’ll be spending holidays, birthdays and countless other get-togethers with your in-laws. While you don’t have to love them nearly as much as your spouse, it’s best not to hate them.
Sometimes in-laws can be awesome. Sometimes they are helpful and kind people who really welcome you in the family with open arms. Sometimes they may rub you the wrong way or even make your life miserable. Sometimes, it’s your spouse who needs to set boundaries with his or her own family.
No matter what your situation is with your in-laws, we hope it’s nothing like what one wife and new mom recently encountered. In a letter to Slate, she calls herself “Mama Bear,” and the experience she had with her mother-in-law is one for the record books.
She begins the letter by writing,
My son is 2 months old, and I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as “Finlay” instead of “Finley” on all of his legal documentation.
Now, you could assume this is an error on the husband’s part. Perhaps he didn’t check the spelling closely enough on the documentation at the hospital. Nope. That’s not it.
Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section.
Can you imagine? The nerve!
She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would “get mad, but get over it.” My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted.
At least this guy put his foot down somewhere, but talk about a bold mother-in-law!
Mama Bear wrote into Slate asking for advice, and she acknowledged that her husband messed up too.
My husband is very much also at fault for doing this in the first place and we are working through that together, but I feel as though something needs to be said to my mother-in-law. Do I approach her about this?
You can read the advice Slate gave Mama Bear here.
What’s your relationship like with your in-laws? What would you do if your mother-in-law changed your son or daughter’s name without your knowledge?
