All of you moms and dads out there know how awesome it can be to cuddle up to your little one at night. Babies are like little teddybears that smell good (for the most part!) and keep you warm at night. On the other hand, when these little ones don’t feel like sleeping—all bets are off. One super honest mother details the hilarious reality of what it’s really like to try to get some shut eye with a little one by your side.

Esther Anderson, the author of the wildly successful “mommy blog” Story of This Life, decided to allow her fans a glimpse into her morning routine. She writes:

Every morning my baby sleeps in my bed with me for a couple hours after she wakes up to eat. And every morning I ask myself why I didn’t just put her back in her crib….so this morning I grabbed my cellphone and recorded what my baby alarm clock looks like. I think I’m not alone in this…

The candid mother turns the camera on her infant daughter so that the world can see just how squirmy babies can be. Honestly, this woman is lucky that she doesn’t end up needing to get stitches every day!

This baby sure re-defines the meaning of a “restless sleeper.” Here are some of her kid’s signature morning moves:

1. “The Picker”

   Esther’s daughter sure knows how to dig for gold! This little one has no qualms about sticking her finger right up her mom’s nose!

2. “The Smack”

   This wee infant doesn’t seem to want to intentionally hurt her mom, but the kid sure can pack a punch! Are we looking at the next Mike Tyson here?

3. “The Forced Kiss”

   We all love kisses from babies, but it’s generally better to be conscious when it happens. Otherwise, you’ll be sure to be dealing with a potentially slobbery situation.

4. “The Hair Pull”

   This signature move just makes me cringe! This little tyke obviously doesn’t know how painful this now can be yet.

5. “The Eye Poke”

   The kid is playing another potentially dangerous game with this move. Hopefully her mom doesn’t wear contacts! If I were her, I think that I would consider wearing scuba goggles to bed.

6. “That Which Shall Not Be Mentioned”

   This one is just too disgusting to detail… You’ll just have to see what happens at the end for yourself!

Watch the video below to see this little baby’s funny antics. We promise, this one will have you laughing out loud!

Do you have any silly babies in your life? How do you handle sleeping arrangements with your infant? What is the funniest trick that your child has pulled on you? We’d love to hear your thoughts! Tell us all about your stories in the comments section below!