When to have a baby is no easy decision. In fact, some people decide they never want to have kids. But on the contrary, some people decide when it’s too late: After they’ve already had children. In a recent Reddit thread, parents explain why they actually regret their decision. Here are the top responses.

1. Worked Too Much

   “So my kids formative years I wasn’t a very good father to them. I was never abusive or mean but I was very career driven and spent almost all my time working instead of playing with my kids who desperately wanted my attention.”

2. No More Slow Mornings

   “The big one is my AM. We have a 1 and 3 year old so diapers potty time and getting them dressed has ruined the morning for me. No more leisurely shower and grooming time.”

3. Kiddy Conversations

   “Talking with children is brutal and leaves me drained.”

4. Their Partner in Raising Them Wasn’t the Best

   “I love my kids, but I should’ve waited and had them with a better person.”

5. Loss of Freedom

   “Inability to sleep in or just do what I want. Especially feel this feeling has been exasperated with Covid. No play dates, etc. allowed where I am. No babysitters, etc.”

6. People Only Talked About the Good Parts

   “Because no one prepares you for those situations that are not perfect: special needs children, mentally ill children. We romanticize families way too much and downplay the difficulties and emotional pain that come with them. And no one talks about this before you have them— I was totally unprepared even though I was married and stable with a college degree. Yeah, you might get great kids that do really well, and you might not. I did not have the temperament to be a good parent and should have been encouraged to explore that before I had them.”

7. They Brought on PTSD

   “I have two kids and they’re an endless series of PTSD triggers. If I had known the extent and nature of my mental health situation I would have never had children. I love my kids but it is what it is.”

8. They Deserve Better

   “I’m not an eager mother, I don’t enjoy the mundane grind of school pickups, park visits, watching Frozen 6000 times, drawing stick figures, etc. I get no joy from it. I’m a good mum, I’m attentive and ever present, I do ALL the things and am extremely responsible, but I’m running on a constant state of “over it” and that poor little girl deserves so much better.”

9. They Can’t Give Them a Sibling

   “Due to how hard parenting is, I’m almost certain I will never do this again. So… my son will be an only child. This also brings me guilt because I’d like to give him someone to grow up with.”

10. Just Did What Was Expected

    “I really never felt the urge to have children, but my husband really wanted them. He never pushed the issue nor made a big fuss about it, but I could tell he really wanted kids. But I never really sorted out how I felt about having children, and just did what was expected. We both had graduate degrees and it was just the next step. Looking back now, I should have listened to my hesitancy. I really wanted a career but gave into what I thought my husband wanted.”

11. Because They Die

    “And the grief of losing them is almost unbearable.”

Do you know someone who has ever regretted their choice to become a parent? What was the reasoning?