Women Share 7 Things You Should Know About Not Taking Your Husband’s Last Name
We always talk about the great parts of getting married. The vows, the dancing, the love surrounding you. A wedding is truly one of the most special days of your entire life.
And honestly, so are the newlywed days. You’re probably going on a honeymoon, you can’t get enough of calling each other husband and wife, and you’re reminiscing about how amazing your wedding day was.
But there’s one post-wedding problem that might creep up for some women—some women who choose not to take their husband’s last name.
Because it’s such a traditional aspect in our country to take your husband’s last name after getting married, people always assume that that’s what the women is going to do. And it can feel scary if that’s not something you want to do.
You might be worried about all of the questions and opinions you’re bound to get: Why not? Don’t you want your kids to have your last name? Does that make you feel less like a family? Are you not legally married if you don’t have the same last name? That seems silly. That seems stupid. Why would you do that yourself? On and on…
It’s really none of anyone’s business but your own why or why not you choose to take your husband’s last name. But if at all worried at all about what this might entail, take a cue from these women who’ve decided to go ahead with being married with their maiden name—and who say it might not be as bad as you expect.
People may make weird assumptions about your family
“Everyone assumes that my brother is my husband, and that my sister-in-law and I are his sister wives, because we all share the same last name.” — Leigh Ann Tomooka, elementary school teacher in Los Angeles
It won’t be that hard to explain to your kids
Having different last names doesn’t mean we are any less of a family unit. Or that the children will be confused. In fact, I think it’s easier to explain to them why their names are hyphenated than it would be to explain why everybody has Daddy’s name. They are a part of both of us, and their names should reflect that.” —Faye, writer for ScaryMommy and The Huffington Post
In fact, they probably won’t even notice—and may even respect it
“My daughter is in seventh grade and she recently said to me, ‘OMG, you’re Bela Gandhi (my maiden name).’ She never thought about it. Once my daughter figured it out, she said, ‘I’m not changing my name either.” —Bela Gandhi founder of the Smart Dating Academy
It can make things difficult if you have published work
“On the day of my wedding, I had already been a licensed attorney in two states, admitted in two Federal District courts, the author of a book, a new YouTube experimentalist, a blog writer, and highly published on the internet with my maiden name. It wasn’t going to be just my neighborhood friends adjusting to my new name — it was basically going to be the entire world.” —Anjali Sareen Nowakowski, writer at Elite Daily
The hospital will probably get your baby’s name wrong
“If you have a baby, they’ll call the baby ‘Baby girl or boy (mother’s last name)’ on all of the name tags and paperwork after birth — whether you’re planning to name the baby your husband’s (last) name or not.”s —Margaret O’Malley, NBC News BETTER editor
…And your husband will likely get called the wrong last name
“When I make a reservation or book a hotel room on my credit card, the host or front desk person, respectively, will call my husband Mr. Mylastname. And, since this isn’t a legally binding situation, we brush it off and my husband will just go along with being Mr. Mylastname — unless it becomes excessive/rude not to correct them.” —Caroline Gerdes, HelloGiggles writer
Your feelings on it may change later on
“My husband and I have always been a team. But when our team gained a third member, my son, I suddenly felt like I wasn’t quite displaying the team spirit with gusto. It was as if some paperwork had slipped my mind somehow, and I had missed out on ordering the team jersey.”—Laura T. Coffey, TODAY Parenting Team editor
What’s your stance on taking or not taking your husband’s last name? If you’re married which did you decide?