Mom-to-Be Angered After Mother-in Law Ignores Gender Neutral Requests and Buys All Pink and Sparkly Clothes for Baby
One mom-to-be took to Reddit to explain that she’s clashing with her mother-in-law while preparing for their one and only baby. She started by explaining that she and her husband had always planned on only having one child, and it’s been disappointing for her one and only pregnancy to happen during a pandemic when she can’t do normal things a mom-to-be would usually do.
“Besides not being able to see my friends or family, I haven’t been able to bring my husband to any of my prenatal appointments, go to any classes, have a massage, photo shoot, really anything anyone might otherwise do during a normal pregnancy.”
The one normal thing this mom-to-be thought she would do was go shopping for baby clothes. She wanted to carefully select each item from thrift stores and local shops. She also wanted to buy gender neutral clothing instead of super girly items. That’s right. She’s having a girl.
This mom-to-be gave in to the pressure to find out her baby’s gender mainly because of her mother-in-law who really wanted to know her grandchild’s gender as soon as possible. The mom-to-be explained that her mother-in-law loves to shop, and she was worried that as soon as she knew if her new grandchild was a boy or a girl she would hit the stores. Yet, they found out the gender anyway, and when she let her husband tell his mom the news, he also stressed that she should not shop for clothes “but rather gift cards or to shop off our registry for items we really need since it would be more helpful. Again she didn’t seem too happy about it.”
Everything blew up on Christmas when the mother-in-law dropped off 15 gift bags all filled with super girly clothes.
“She shows up with, I kid you not, 15 gift bags all labeled by month and each and every one is stuffed to the brim with baby girl clothes. We did the actual opening of the gifts on Skype and I faked my reaction to virtually every one.”
This new mom is heartbroken because she was really looking forward to shopping for her daughter.
“Since I haven’t gotten to do anything really this pregnancy, I was really looking forward to ‘treasure hunting’ for clothes I liked.”
She also realizes that hormones might be partly to blame for her feelings, but that doesn’t change how she feels.
“It’s probably mostly hormones, but I just feel so bummed out. I feel like I’m having her grandchild rather than mine if that makes any sense.”
The Reddit community chimed in to offer their words of wisdom. Some people suggested selling or donating most if not all of the clothes the mother-in-law picked out.
“I would go through and sort out what you want and donate the rest. It’s not your fault she spent that money when you expressed not to. Donate it all and move on like it never happened. You can tell her you donated it too. You expressly told her not to do that, and she did it anyway. I get being excited, but she crossed the line. No one is forcing you to keep them.”
Other Reddit users pointed out that the great thing about a gift is that now it’s yours and you can do whatever you want with it.
“Here’s the thing about gifts: they’re gifts. Now those items are yours, even though you didn’t want them, and now you can do with them what you want. I strongly recommend returning whatever you can and what can’t be returned sell online.”
Not everyone agreed about giving away or returning the clothes. A few people pointed out that the mother-in-law is just excited.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned since having kids, it’s that it’s a HUGE deal for grandma’s. They don’t get to be a part of every little thing because it’s not their baby and it’s just not feasible so they go to what they can do – starts with clothes and moves to toys. I used to get all worked up about it and after the past year? I decided there are way worse things than my MIL showering my children with stuff to show her love and be a part of their lives. That’s what she’s trying to do. Someday I will be someone’s grandma, hopefully, and I hope they accept my over-excitedness with grace, as it sounds like you did since she doesn’t know how you truly feel.”
Do you think this mom-to-be should return, donate or sell the clothes instead of keeping them? How would you react if you were in the mom-to-be’s situation?