When you’re married, you might pick fights over seemingly silly things—you know, leaving socks at the foot of the hamper, letting the dishes pile up, or, in one man’s case, having his wife refuse to buy him a coffee.

Allow him to explain. The man turned to Reddit to share his story and ask whether his anger is valid.

For some background: The two have been married for eight years. With the husband working full time and the wife only working about 15 hours, the couple has their finances worked out so that hubby pays for all the “fun stuff” and even gives his wife a monthly allowance. The man mentions that she actually has more money than he does stored up.

With that in mind, here’s how the fight went down: “We were out for a walk and I wanted to get a holiday drink from a coffee shop for us to share,” the man wrote. “My wife told me not to get it. She said she had a gift card, but only for a certain location. So I waited until we walked past that location. My wife then said she would go in to get it and we would meet at home. I left with our son.”

Okay, nothing too terrible yet. But when the wife gets home, that’s when things get crazy. Do we think she got him the drink he asked for?

“When my wife got home, I noticed she was drinking a plain coffee,” he explained. “I asked her where my drink was and she said there wasn’t enough money left on her card to get me the kind that I wanted.”

Oof. Well, that’s not cool.

“I admit I kind of blew up at her,” the man said. “I asked her why she didn’t just let me buy the drink myself then? Or why not use some of the money I gave her. Or even just let me know she couldn’t get it. Honestly, it’s like a $2 difference.”

“I was actually so mad I had to leave the house,” the man continued. “I’m currently at my sister’s place, just hanging out in the front yard (because COVID). I don’t know if I should go home and apologize for yelling or stay until I’ve truly calmed down. My wife always makes me feel like I’m overreacting but I feel genuinely hurt.”

So what’s the general consensus here—is he the jerk for getting so mad? Or is the wife the jerk for not getting his drink when it was only a matter of a small dollar amount?

Many agree he’s NOT the jerk. “I know exactly how it feels to be constantly giving and giving to get nothing back,” someone replied. “Yeah it’s over something so small but isn’t that the point? She can’t do the bare minimum and pay the extra to get you a coffee? This is clearly an accumulation of things building up because it does feel shitty giving your all to get nothing back.”

Some also commented that the anger probably wasn’t ALL about the coffee, but over built-up feelings toward money. “I don’t think that you blew up over coffee, I think the coffee was the trigger for the feelings that you have built up,” one person stated.

We’re going to agree with the majority here—not the jerk! How do you handle finances in your family? Would you be angry at your spouse for doing something like this?