Search the seven seas and seven galaxies and you will have a hard time finding picture-perfect parents or families. While there are guidebooks, trends, classes, friends, and our own parents we can glean parenting gems from, some things are best learned through intuition or on the job.

Your parenting style is your own, but there are some things we can do to make sure we’re raising children who not only have core values, but aren’t afraid to fall, get up, or love themselves unconditionally. Nobody’s perfect!

How’s that done? By incorporating certain wise principles into how you parent, you can gently steer your child into becoming a smart, responsible, resourceful, compassionate adult. Some families have found ways to do that, and these are examples of what habits separate average families from wise ones:

1. Follow Through on Ideas or What Is Said

   If your child makes a commitment to someone or something, make sure he follows through with it. Whether it’s a task, project, or promise to a friend or loved one, teach your kid what it means to see something through – as long as it’s within reason. That goes for you too!

2. Share Parenting Responsibilities

   Are there two parents in the picture? If so, it’s easy for things to become unbalanced, but wise families have both parents in the household sharing involvement with the children and shouldering responsibilities.

   Neither is more dominant or passive, and kids recognize and respect both parents as leaders. It’s also much easier to be consistent when both are on the same page.

3. Don’t Shelter Your Child

   We agree that children shouldn’t be exposed to certain things at certain ages, but living in a bubble isn’t exactly feasible. Give your child room to explore, learn, make mistakes, play, get hurt, and problem-solve. After all, you won’t be around for every second of their lives when they grow up!

4. Appreciate Your Child for Who They Are

   Instead of comparing or telling them to be like such-and-such, accept your child as-is. Don’t expect her to be like you, her older sister, the neighbor’s kid, or the prodigy you saw on TV.

5. Learn to Trust without Hovering in the Background

   Give your little pumpkin a task and allow her to do it without you micromanaging or nagging. This will help her develop confidence, life skills, and a sense of responsibility.

6. Allow Yourself to Be Imperfect

   Who’s an angel? You don’t always have to follow “the rules” or blueprint when it comes to living life, and your family needs to see that. It’s okay to struggle with things like exercising, forgetting to do laundry, or being upset when the dog poops on the carpet again.

   You’re human! Be comfortable enough to let down your hair (and façade) with your fam so that you all can learn to manage realistic expectations of yourselves.

7. Give Everyone a Voice, but with Respect

   Now this doesn’t mean to let your kids go buck wild or be disrespectful, but allow them to learn to advocate for themselves, talk about their emotions, and humbly express their opinions.

   Don’t discount their intelligence or input because of their age. Ensuring everyone has a voice will ensure everyone feels empowered. Just remember to set boundaries about respectfulness.

8. Encourage Effort Over Winning

   No one wins all the time, but effort counts for a lot. Kids should learn that even though they don’t earn the grade or prize that they were aiming for, giving their all is important. Hard work will eventually pay off!

9. Don’t Sweat the Mess

   Kids are messy. It comes with the territory that your home and your child won’t always look pristine. Instead of getting frustrated about cleaning up the mess yourself, teach your child about the importance of cleaning up after herself. You can do it without scolding too!

10. Handle Conflict with Fairness

    Children will often learn by example when it comes to conflict resolution. As parents, do you talk things out, compromise, and find a peaceful solution? Show that it is normal to have disagreements, but being fair and kind is important when it comes to solving problems. That means hugs and apologies are a part of how you work things out.

11. Spend Time Understanding One Another

    So many times parents get caught up in the “taking care of” aspect of their households that they miss out on getting to know each child. Kids have their own personalities and interests, and sometimes they change over time.

    Wise parents will learn what their likes, dislikes, needs, and interests are at each stage – without being overbearing.

12. Cope with Loss, Disappointment, and Other Emotions

    Things won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, and wise families learn how to work through their emotions such as sadness, grief, resentment, anger, or disappointment. It’s not healthy to bury emotions, but lashing out isn’t healthy either. Teach kids how to work through their feelings no matter how uncomfortable it can be.

13. Celebrate Independence and Cut the Cord

    Allow your child space to do things for himself, by himself. That means laundry, schoolwork, fixing something to eat, and other tasks. Encourage rather than discourage.

Are there a set of rules or principles you apply when parenting? What’s your biggest parenting challenge?