Parenting isn’t always giggles and rainbows, and one of its not-so-fun aspects is learning how to discipline. But it’s necessary and a vital part of showing your child how they should function in the real world.

Despite our best intentions, it can be uncomfortable or frustrating to correct our children’s behavior. That’s why it is so easy to make mistakes. Trying to find the balance between teaching and enforcing isn’t an easy task, and parents try to be careful about damaging the parent-child relationship.

Like kids, parents can mess up too. Here’s a list of common discipline blunders that many of us make when it comes to children.

1. Flipping Out

   Yelling, getting angry, or insulting your child is not the way to handle a discipline issue. In fact, it compounds it and makes your reaction the center of attention. Though your child’s behavior can cause feelings of anger, it’s important not to lose your temper or lose sight of the issue at hand.

   Additionally, your children could wind up mimicking your behavior and lose their cool the same way you do when upset. Take a deep breath or time-out if you need one. Use patience. Focus on your child’s wrongdoing and how to rectify it without overreacting.

2. Bribing

   Steven Depolo via Flickr

   We know this works sometimes, especially with ornery toddlers who need a nap or snack instead of the shiny new toy they’re screaming for. But the message gets garbled when rewards become the expectation, or when the child attaches a “prize” to good behavior.

3. Being Inconsistent

   Enforcing the rules sometimes but not all the time can confuse children. It’s okay to be lenient every so often, but don’t forget to follow through with what you dish out in terms of expectations and consequences so that you don’t undermine your own authority.

4. No Discipline Whatsoever

   Mindaugas Danys via Flickr

   We’ve all witnessed the effects of parents who let their children act willy-nilly. It’s lazy. Labeling naughty behavior as a phase or ignoring rule-breaking works against teaching your child that boundaries should and do exist. Establish rules so that your children know how to conduct themselves as respectful, accountable members of your household and society.

5. Public Reprimanding

   Outside of checking a dangerous situtation, you should avoid lighting into your child in a public forum. That includes social media! Either pull your child into a private space or wait until you get home to admonish him, as he is likely paying attention to what strangers are hearing or thinking about him. That’s on top of the embarrassment.

   Public reprimands or shaming would do a disservice not only to your child’s self-esteem, but also to the effectiveness of your message.

Don’t beat yourself up if you recognize yourself in any of these habits. Remember that there’s no official parenting playbook to go with the job. Instead, learn your child and which methods work best for keeping him on the right track with love in mind.

Have you made discipline mistakes with your child? Which of these have you had a tough time changing? Can you think of any other discipline mistakes?