As a parent, one of the most annoying things is to get advice from well-meaning people who don’t have children of their own. These people simply think that if you did X, Y, or Z parenting would be so much easier. On the flip side, they sometimes firmly believe that there are some things they would absolutely never do or allow if they had their own children.
What no-parents don’t understand is that you really cannot understand what it is like to be a parent and what it is like to raise children until you have children of your own.
I remember life before I had children, and after having children, I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn. No matter how many baby books you read, experiencing parenthood yourself is something you can’t entirely prepare for.
When friends who don’t have kids offer suggestions, I’ve learned to just smile and nod politely knowing that one day if they choose to have children they will understand just why their advice would never work.
If you have kids, you’ll definitely get a laugh from these 15 examples of parenting advice from non-parents. If you don’t have kids, this might be an educational experience.
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So Naiive
I told myself pre-baby that I’m never going to get irritated about him just doing kid stuff, running around the house, yelling when he’s playing etc…oh how naive I was 😂
— MommaMarisa (@MommaMarisa326) April 13, 2019
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Your Circle of Friends WILL Change
I will still hang out with people who don’t have kids 🤣 Sure you will.
— KellySmelly (@picabomama) April 14, 2019
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Never Say Never
“I would never let my kids act that way in public,” and “My kids will only eat organic whole food snacks and no junk food ever.”I was the second one. My kids had donuts for breakfast. This week, 11 had corn dogs for breakfast twice. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
— not_twitty (@ANABKS) April 13, 2019
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Screen Time
“I won’t let them be on screen more than an hour a day”Okay honey. So you gonna shower and cook and clean and drink coffee in one hour? Good luck with that!
— Anne (@snowflakedunord) April 13, 2019
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Junk Food
“No junk food”. Yeah whatever!! Wait til you hear how quiet the car journeys are with McDonald’s chips 🍟.
— Sun, Sea and School Holidays (@halftermhol) April 13, 2019
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She Was Too Critical
I know someone who openly criticised every parenting choice I made. She now does exactly the same things 😁
— MUMmal Life 🤱🐒👩🏻🎤 (@yeartovolunteer) April 14, 2019
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Enough Is Enough
I’ll be a calm and rational parent helping him to deal with growing up. Last night he was jumping on my handbag and I actually said the phrase ‘isn’t it enough that you ruined my body’ Do you have to ruin everything I own too?!’
— Gemma Williams (@_gemmawilliams_) April 13, 2019
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What Is Spare Time Again?
Non-parent: So what do you like to do in you spare time. Me: Spare time?
— C No Pants (@herprettybones) June 24, 2019
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Grapes
There is no adequate way to describe to a non parent the fear that overwhelms me when feeding my 1yo QUARTERED grapes 🍇.
— Jacki (@jaxwax04) July 18, 2019
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There Are Limits
Non-Parent: I don’t understand why you complain about spending time with your kids. You wanted them. *eyeroll*Parent: I love my friends too, that doesn’t mean I want to see them while I’m on the toilet.
— Liana Brooks (@LianaBrooks) January 30, 2019
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That’s Just the Beginning
It’s cute when a non-parent person sees a kid screaming and says, “That’s why I don’t want kids.” Lol. They have no clue HowMuchWorseItActuallyIs
— Dianne Gallagher (@DianneGallagher) December 16, 2018
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We Have a No-Slime Policy
A GIFT A NON PARENT GIVES….🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/YqHpJhqO4n
— Adam Joseph (@6abcadamjoseph) August 11, 2019
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Teeth
“I’m not going to breastfeed once they get teeth”-me 🙋🏻♀️
— InnerMomalogues (@IMomalogues) April 13, 2019
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Baby Poop
Non-parent: There’s poop on my hand??!! I can’t wash it enough! Should I bleach it? Should I boil it?? Aaarrrggghhh!Parent: There’s poop on my hand? Yup. Normal Thursday.
— Ohio mom of two #BLM 🏳️🌈 (@OhioMomoftwo) September 6, 2018
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Such a Lie
The biggest lie you’ve ever heard a non-parent tell themselves?”I wouldn’t let having kids change my lifestyle. They’ll just have to fit in around me.”Classic. 😂#parenting
— Jack’s Dad (@DaddingAround) April 13, 2019