Getting married is a huge deal. But the sad thing? Many marriages end in divorce. And while it may be hard to see the signs while you’re saying your vows under an arch of peonies, red flags could very well begin to trickle their way into the relationship later on. At least, that’s what people who’ve been divorced will tell you.

As a matter of fact, BuzzFeed recently asked what the moment was when they knew it was time to get divorced. The answers are pretty eye-opening, so we just had to share some. Here are some of the top responses.

  1. The Dog Knew

    “When he threatened to hit my dog. My dog (a 5-month-old puppy back then!) barked at him when he threatened to hit me.”

  2. Refused to Help When in Need

    “When I sliced my thumb open, and he refused to come home during his lunch break because he was down the street at his buddy’s house. My best friend’s husband walked to my house in the rain and helped me bandage my thumb up and clean the blood off the floor.”

  3. Priorities Were Different

    “Got in a car accident and was given $20,000 because of my injuries. About a year later, I got pregnant and had $7,000 left of my settlement. I planned on putting that money into a savings for my son, but my ex thought buying a POS car was more important!”

  4. Shocking Texts

    “When I saw the text messages between him and his 19-year-old coworker when I was six months pregnant. He left me a week before our second daughter was born…it was actually a blessing in disguise. I divorced him. I moved on and met someone who treated me way better than he ever did, got married, and we added another baby to our family. My new hubby calls us his premade family — so cute!”

  5. No More Lovey-Dovey Looks

    “We were at my older brother’s wedding. I saw the way my siblings looked at their significant others and the way they looked at my siblings, and knew it was over. We just didn’t look at each other the same way anymore.”

  6. Insanely High Expectations (And Nothing in Return)

    “He insisted that a freshly cooked dinner be on the table for him and our three kids no later than 6 every night, despite: 1) I didn’t get off work until 4.30 p.m., and 2) I was the only one who could pick up the kids after work since he purposely cut the seat belts out of his car so he couldn’t pick them up. One evening, rushing to handle everything, I impaled my hand with a butcher knife. I cussed loudly, and blood was everywhere. My ex’s response was, ‘Wow. OK, I guess dinner’s going to be late tonight.’ Sixty days after my hand was splayed open, I was divorced from him.”

  7. Super Lazy

    “First major sign was when he admitted to not searching for a job the whole first six months of unemployment…second and last straw was when I was repainting our new condo. He was playing computer games while hungover, and I asked him politely to move his desk so I could paint behind. He moved it a f*cking inch. Asked again and same thing happened. The laziness and no ambition got me the most.”

  8. Major Cheating

    “I knew it was over when I found out he had been sleeping with 30 people on and off throughout our entire eight-year relationship. Some of them were apparently regular occurrences.”

  9. No Emotion After Finding Out He Cheated

    “I had been on vacation with my ex. As soon as we got on the plane for the six-hour flight home, he told me tearfully that he had made out with a woman at the resort we had just left. I felt nothing — no anger, no sadness, nothing. At the time, I thought it was shock. In retrospect, I realized I felt nothing because I wasn’t there anymore.”

  10. There Was No Fixing It

    “My ex and I were trying to make things work, and he left flowers in my car. Objectively, it was so sweet. But my heart and gut were crushed because my first thought was that I wish he hadn’t done that. I was already done. That was the beginning of the end.”

  11. The Fighting Was Constant

    “When I started wearing headphones to bed. At first I told myself it was white noise so I could fall asleep, but I eventually realized it was to avoid talking to her — since any conversation was 100% going to turn into a fight.”

  12. The Kid Realized it First

    “When we were separated, my 3-year-old son and I were living with my grandparents, and he asked me if I liked his daddy. I said, ‘Yeah buddy, I love your daddy.’ He looked at me and said, ‘Why? Daddy yells at you and makes you cry.’ That killed me, and I knew it was finally over. Thankfully he doesn’t remember all that.”

  13. So Much Lying

    “After 13 years of marriage and me supporting his demanding military career, getting his degree, getting out, changing careers, getting a good job, I decided to finally go back to school. First, he practically demanded I quit my job because I couldn’t possibly do both and still support him and the kids. Then when that didn’t happen, he decided that was a good time to ramp up the self-medicating he was doing beyond alcohol. I drew a line, he crossed it, lied about it, and then lied about it some more.”

If you’ve been divorced, can you relate to any of these? What was the moment you knew?