Wouldn’t it be nice if your husband bought you a plane ticket to visit your grandmother in Italy? Of course! But wouldn’t it be pretty awful if he expected you to bring your child with you, while he stays home?

One man recently shared his story on Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole? forum—that he bought his wife a plane ticket to Italy for her birthday so that she could gon on vacation and see her grandma. However, he also bought a ticket for his four-year-old daughter, even though his wife is a stay-at-home mom, and watches her all day, every day.

His wife really wants to get a break—not spend her trip getting home in time for her daughter’s bedtime and making sure there are foods she can eat. She wants to go alone and really get to enjoy that time! But Dad says that if their daughter stays home, he’d have to “babysit” her and take off work the whole week.

“I (29M) bought my wife (25F) 2 tickets to visit her grandma in Italy next week. The other ticket was for our daughter(4F) since I assumed she’d be taking her. She says she wants a break ‘from kids’ on her vacation,” he writes in the post.

“I told her that that was unfortunate since there’s no way that our daughter can not go if she goes,” he continues. “Because I have work and don’t want to take time off to babysit our daughter for an entire week.”

He goes on to say that he even suggested that they have someone else watch her, adding, “but we don’t know anyone that lives close by who’d be willing to watch her.”

“I love my daughter, but I don’t want to take a week off to babysit her,” he concluded.

Okay, so who is the jerk here? Thousands of people made the answer unanimous—he is definitely the jerk in this situation!

“He bought himself a vacation by sending his wife & daughter away for a week & now he’s pissy it backfired,” someone wrote.

“This right here. You’re the dad. It’s not babysitting. Adjust your attitude,” another said.

“So you basically purchased yourself a week off from everything. You sound like a crappy father,” another pointed out. “If you think taking a child on a trip is a getaway for her you’re delusional.”

Well, that settles that. What are your thoughts—is this man the jerk in this situation?