A lot of people spend the holidays with extended family. It can be a time when family travels from out of town so they can all be together. It can be wonderful to see family and friends that we don’t see very often, but, honestly, we’d rather be the ones traveling to see the extended family than having to host the extended family.

Hosting a big holiday celebration can be a lot of work. There’s cooking and cleaning, decorating and wrapping presents. Add to that any special traditions that need to be recreated and possibly taking care of normal duties like working, and it can be quite overwhelming unless you have a lot of help.

If your family is coming to town and everyone all pitches in together to make the season magical (kind of like in a Hallmark movie), then it could be a really enjoyable celebration. It would be quite the opposite for one wife and mom who posted on Reddit about a fight she’s having with her husband.

She explained that she and her husband have a 2-year-old, and she is also 6 months pregnant. In addition, she works full time, but her husband only works 3 nights a week. Then, one day she accidentally found out that her husband went behind her back to invite 26 of his family members to a 5-day Christmas celebration at their house. He didn’t ask his wife or even tell her about the invitations before sending them.

This upset wife and mom explained, “My husband has a large family. And on every Christmas they’d gather at his father’s house. My father in law passed away a year ago and This year my husband decided as the man of the family to host Christmas at our house. Unbeknowest to me, he sent out invitations for a 5 day Christmas celebration to his entire family which are about 26 members in total. I found out about by accident and I was too shocked to react. I confronted him on it and he said I shouldn’t be surprised and just get used to it because after his father’s death he’s now the family’s ‘head’ and all major family events will be held in our house and in his presence. I freaked out and said no this is wrong and he should’ve talked to me first before sending out any invitations to his family knowing I have other commitments like work and taking care of the house and our son.”

She edited her post to add, “To put this out there he planned on sitting and telling stories of his dad while I handle everything and his family believe that as guests it’s rude to ask them to help.” So, basically, she had to host a 5-day party all by herself with no help while working and taking care of her kids, and her husband expects her to just accept it.

In response, she cancelled the party. She wrote, “I ended up sending a mass text to everyone who received an invitation explaining that we will not be hosting Christmas this year. He found out and went off on me calling my behavior outrageously appalling and said that I broke his word to his family and made him look small and with no authority.” Her mother-in-law also thinks she was out of line for cancelling the party. 

Now, her husband wants “a hand written apology for cancelling the event and for being insensitive towards him and undermining his authority in front of his family.” She refused, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she was the jerk here or if her husband was the one who was out of line. She decided to ask Reddit.

Reddit users are completely siding with the wife in this situation. One person wrote, “Delusional and pretty stupid, tbh. ‘I’m a man so I’m the head of this family now’??? Does he envision himself inheriting the role like a mafia boss or an ancient ruler and can make unilateral decisions? This man’s view of family is warped and his ego is irritatingly fragile.”

Many Reddit users suggested that the wife pack up the kids and spend the holidays with her own family and/or call a family therapist or divorce lawyer. One way or another, they think she needs to do something to show her husband his attitude and behavior are not okay. One person wrote, “Get yourself and your kids outta there. This is definitely not a man I’d want to be raising my kids with.”

Other Reddit users pointed out that the fact that she is pregnant and the pandemic isn’t over are more than enough reasons to not want 26 people staying in your home. One person wrote, “I feel like even if he planned on doing all the hosting (which OP has indicated in other comments that he does not) she still had every right to say she does not want 26 people staying in their house for a week. Assuming they don’t live in a huge mansion, OP is a pregnant woman who may need to use the bathroom at any given time, and with more than a classroom worth of people relying on the same amenities that’s reason enough alone to say that she’s uncomfortable. Let alone concerns about the pandemic and being pregnant and having a small child who is not of age yet to get vaccinated.”

How would you react if you found out 26 of your in-laws were going to be staying at your house over the holidays and you were expected to do everything when it comes to hosting?