Telling someone that they need to lose weight is in general considered a huge no-no. It’s usually not a good idea to say anything about a person’s appearance, especially if it’s something negative, and nobody enjoys being told that they look fat.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Yes. There can be, especially when the person is not just overweight but extremely obese and especially when that person is someone you are very close to, such as husband or wife. The key is to be kind and understanding. It is a delicate topic, but if he or she is so overweight that it is impacting his or her health, ignoring the problem is not helpful.

One husband turned to Reddit to ask for advice about how to tell his wife that she needs to lose weight. He’s sure she knows that she’s overweight, but she doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it.

“She eats fast food everyday. She won’t eat something unless there is sugar or fat in it. Her gut grows down over her pelvis. She’s 5’9” and she weighs 300 lbs.”

He went on to explain that her weight is causing health issues.

“She is in constant pain because her poor body can’t handle this much weight (feet, back, and constant headaches)…I know this causes her a lot of sadness and I just want to help my wife be happy.”

Instead of attacking this Reddit user for wanting to help his wife lose weight, the comments were actually very helpful. Multiple people suggested that he approach the issue by telling her that he wants to eat healthier and lose weight and ask her to join him. That way the lifestyle changes would be about him and not about her.

“Lead by example. Maybe tell her you want to be in better shape so you can be healthier, and ask her to join you so you can do it together as a team. You would have to be committed and you can keep her motivated.”

Another Reddit user explained that she can relate to his wife. She is also 300 pounds and explained that his wife is very well aware that she needs to lose weight but is scared and overwhelmed at the thought of it.

“I’ve been the wife in this situation, at 300. Trust me. She knows. She probably points it out from time to time as a way to get a self esteem or justification boost, but subconsciously, she’s indicating that she is ready, and scared. Because it feels insurmountable and overwhelming.”

She went on to offer advice about how he could approach his wife without being offensive.

“Whenever she mentions feeling ugly or fat, it’s a sign that she wants to ready. Just be prepared to be ready with her. Don’t try to deny the “I’m fat” right away, say that if she’s unhappy with herself, you will be there for any changes we need to make to make it better…Once she starts losing, she’ll start to realize how much easier life is, and that’ll encourage her.”

Have you ever been worried about the health of a loved one who is extremely obese? Do you find the advice Reddit users gave this husband helpful?