17 Things People Do When No One’s Watching
It’s about to get real up in here. You know those things you do in private that you would just die if someone saw you do? Yeah—we all do ‘em. And there’s no reason to be ashamed about it.
Whether they’re just plain weird or totally gross, let’s just all embrace the odd, shall we?
Below, a totally unscientific list of things we all do when no one’s watching:
Pick a wedgie.
Who invented underwear? It’s great for hygiene and protection purposes, sure, but gosh can it be uncomfortable—especially when it rides up in your you-know-where. Sorry men, women definitely have it worse in this department. (Though we feel you on riding up boxers; that doesn’t sound fun!) Bonus points if you’re dressed in your best while doing this!
Text LOL without laughing.
LOL means “laugh out loud” but how many people are actually laughing out loud when they type LOL? If you’re actually laughing, you’re more likely to write out “hahaha” anyway, amirite?
…extra loudly. Oh and then try to wave the smell away as soon as possible— especially if you hear someone coming.
Quickly close the elevator door.
Honest to God, is there ever a longer 20 seconds than an elevator ride with a total stranger? Answer: Heck no. That’s why we all try to press the “close door” button as fast as we can when we hear someone about to get in with you. (And if you don’t do this, well then high-five to you. Because smiling awkwardly at a stranger when you haven’t had your coffee yet before heading into the office is like, really hard, OK?)
Shave just part of your leg.
Ladies, you know the drill: If you know you’re wearing an outfit that will just show your legs below the knee, then why waste all that effort in shaving your entire leg? Say it with us now: Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Eat something that fell on the ground.
A little dirt never hurt, right? (Or dog hair…). We can’t let that piece of food go to waste. Go ahead, pick it up, and eat it like nothing ever happened.
Sniff your dirty clothes.
How bad does it have to smell for you to not wear it?
Sneeze obnoxiously loudly.
We try to stifle our sneezes in public but when we’re alone? We basically sneeze with our entire bodies.
Make our pudge talk.
Let’s face it: There’s something about stomach rolls – we’ve all got them! – that make us think they’re alive. Maybe it’s before you undress to take a shower, maybe it’s when you’re getting dressed. But the crease is just begging you to use your hands to have a fake conversation with…yourself. And your skin. Ain’t nothing weird at all about that.
Stalk an ex on Facebook.
Or better yet, use the “View profile as” feature to view your profile as your ex.
Clip your nails and let them go everywhere.
Who wants to sit in the bathroom and do it when you can multitask while wathing TV and just letting those little buggers scatter your living room?
Stare a little too long into a used tissue.
Nothing feels better than blowing your nose, especially when you’re sick and there’s a ton of gunk in there. Oh, except actually staring at the gunk. Why are we so curious about what came out of there? On another note, why is it green? *Googles all the things.*
Stare a little too long into the toilet.
You know when your stool doesn’t look quite right? Honestly, while it may sound a little weird, this is actually a healthy habit—different shapes, colors, sizes, and textures can all mean something about your health.
Pee in the shower.
You could’ve totally gone right before, but why waste all that time when you could just do it as you clean yourself? It all washes away right away anyway…
Take selfies and immediately delete them.
Maybe your hair looks bomb. Or the lighting is just right. Or you’re loving your makeup that day. So you do it—you reach for your phone and take a few selfies making all kinds of different faces…and then you consequently delete every single one because #ew.
Type out loud.
Writing an email? A homework assignment? A blog post? If you ever feel the need to say the words out loud as you type, you’re for sure not alone.
Pick your nose.
We have ALL done this. And if you haven’t, then you’re lying. Hey, no shame—nothing better than picking a winner.
Don’t be afraid to embrace the weird! We’re all human and we all do odd and sometimes gross things. You don’t have to admit it, but if you’re willing, how many of these do you do on a daily basis?