Being a parent is never easy, and being judged by people who don’t even know you doesn’t make the job any easier. Mom shaming is not new, and unfortunately, many moms experience it at one time or another while they’re parenting their children.
Well-meaning or not so well-meaning adults may make comments about the way a mom disciplines her children, interacts with them, or how much time she spends with them. Sometimes it seems that no matter what decision a mom makes, someone will shame her for it. That’s not okay, but many moms have learned to let the haters hate and not worry about it.
You may know Tracy Tutor from the Bravo reality show “Million Dollar Listings Los Angeles.” She has been selling million dollar homes in Los Angeles for decades. She’s currently a top real estate agent at Douglas Elliman Beverly Hills.
When Tutor isn’t working, she’s spending time with her teenage daughters Juliet and Scarlett. She has been raising them as a single mom for the past few years, and that comes with challenges.
Tutor told Yahoo Life, “The girls see me working as a divorced mom. It’s hard to raise young women today and give them the tools they need to become a successful adult, and not dependent on men.” She added, “I found that once I had these little girls who looked up to me, my life shifted. I had to live without having to depend on someone for their entire existence and happiness.”
Tutor has definitely endured her share of mom shaming through her parenting journey, but she has found that focusing on her daughters and not the negative energy has helped keep her focused. She explained, “I hear that I’m too sexy to be a mom, that I work too hard… I get tons of shame. I had to look at my two daughters and really not let that creep in because I have two fabulous kids.”
It’s definitely a juggling act for Tutor to balance mom life and work life. She admits that she hardly ever has time just for herself. She said, “I do try to take little moments to take care of myself and do beauty stuff.” She added, “I take the time when I can to feel good — but I can’t say it’s frequent.”
One challenge Tutor has when it comes to carving out time for herself is that real estate is a 24/7 job. She said, “We kind of work seven days a week, and I’m never really ‘off duty,’ even when I’m on vacation.” Sounds a lot like the job of a parent – you’re never really “off duty” as a parent either.
Have you ever been mom-shamed? How have you learned to cope with the criticism?