Woman Shares Her Chilling Experience to Explain Why Women Seem “Cold” to Strange Men

We teach our children to be aware of stranger danger as one of their first life lessons, knowing it’s one they’ll need as grownups. Sadly, it is one that women often have to remind themselves of when out in the world.

Toeing the line between being polite and being unfriendly can be a delicate exercise if we’re not careful. One young woman tactfully illustrated this point when sharing her experience about an encounter with a seemingly friendly stranger.

It serves as a cautionary tale, informative announcement/message, and sobering reminder all rolled up into one. For fellows who are knowingly creepy, don’t realize they’re being creepy, or wonder if they are being creepy but don’t want to be, take heed.

Twitter user Lily Evans broke her story down through a Twitter thread that’s aptly titled, “Why some women are ‘rude’ or ‘cold’ or ‘standoffish’ to men in public: a thread.”

She begins by saying that she was out walking her dog when she stopped to take a pic of the sunset. A man on a bench nearby offered her dog a cracker, which she gobbled up. So, then the small talk began.

“It started innocently enough. He asked my dog’s name, and then mine. I asked for his and we shook hands. I hate making small talk but, well, he had been very nice to offer my dog a treat, so I mentioned the nice weather. He asked if I lived in the area.”

“Now, as a woman, I don’t like that question. First of all, I’m walking my dog, so it’s already pretty clear that I probably live fairly close by. But I answered yes, made an excuse about Echo needing her medication, and dragged her away. All in all, not the worst interaction.”

Just when she thought it was over, it wasn’t.

“About 200 yards away, I paused to let Echo sniff some stuff and text a friend. “Hey, I thought you were going home?” Oh, boy. He’d followed me. I smiled and said I was just texting a friend back, but was on my way home, which was true– but more explanation than I owed a stranger. . .”

He asked me where I lived. This made me uncomfortable, so I lied and said I live a neighborhood over. He said he’d seen me around often, which made me uncomfortable because I’d never seen him before but I guess he has been watching me.

He asked if I have family around. I said no. And then he asked me if I live alone. So now a strange man, over 6 feet tall, probably in the 220-260 pound range, has been watching me, following me, has a rough idea of where I live…

. . .and now he knows that I have no family in the area to check in on me. And now he wants to know if I live by myself. Alarm bells are ringing in my head and luckily this time I can tell the truth– I do not live alone, I have a former military male roommate. But I’m still scared.”

“So now I need to plan a new dog walking route, and I have to be even more wary than usual after dark (which comes at like 4:45 now, thanks winter.) All because I decided to be nice to a strange man. I gave him an inch and he took a mile.

I’ve experienced this over and over and OVER, and yet I STILL try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I don’t want to get called a b*#$#. I don’t owe anyone ANYTHING. Not a smile, not a hello, not a hug. And I’m going to remember that.

This man didn’t look scary, or creepy, or weird. Our interaction started perfectly pleasantly. So next time a woman on the street comes off as ‘rude’, remember that we have NO IDEA which men are going to follow us home, or touch us without our consent, or worse.”

 

After this thread picked up some attention, many guys chimed in to say they didn’t realize some of things they say to women were inappropriate, and they appreciate this young lady talking about it. To read all the tweets, click here.

We know not all dudes are out here with sinister intentions, but it’s hard for women to read everyone’s inner thoughts so we take protective measures. Sometimes that means clamming up, lying, or wearing a poker face.

Many of us can relate to her, but that doesn’t mean genuinely nice guys with pure intentions will lose. Things can just get weird if everyone isn’t careful. Your thoughts?

Ladies, have you had a similar experience to this woman’s? What’s your normal reaction? How did you extract yourself from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation?