Choosing a baby name is one of the most important decisions new parents can make. With so many amazing names to choose from, it’s not always easy to decide which name to pick. Whatever decision the parents make, it’s important that they both agree on the name since this is the name they will be calling their child for the rest of the child’s life. At least, it should be.

One new dad shared on Reddit that he and his wife made a deal when they decided to have kids. The deal was that if they had a boy, his wife got to choose the name, and if they had a girl, he got to choose the name. In order to make sure they both liked the name well enough, they also decided that the other parent could veto the name if they really didn’t like it.

When his wife was pregnant, she was positive that she was having a boy, and she picked out a boy name that she liked; however, when the baby was born, it was actually a girl. The new dad told his wife that he was writing the girl name he had picked out on the birth certificate. His wife hadn’t vetoed the name, so obviously, according to their deal, that was the baby’s name.

Fast forward a year, and he found out something that has him considering divorce. He explained, “Now, a year later, I come home from work and I find my MIL and wife there talking about my daughter, only they are using another name.” It turned out that his wife and mother-in-law had been calling the baby by a different name for an entire year and they had never told him. He wrote, “I was shocked because this was the first time anyone had claimed any objections to the name.”

The dad continued, “My wife later came to me suggesting we officially get her name changed and I stuck to my guns and told her we are not doing that and she needs to stop. This led to a fight about how unsupportive i am and stole her right to name the child she gave birth to. I told her that the opportunity to veto any name is long gone and she can’t expect me to support something this stupid.”

The new dad added that the name his wife has been calling their daughter “is a very odd feminine version of the name she wanted for her son. Imagine using a female version of the name Drake or Thomas.”

He shared that his friends and family think divorce would be taking it too far, but he doesn’t think that’s the case. He explained, “I feel it in my gut that she may be trying to recreate this son by sacrificing our daughter. If she can use a different name to address her for a year!!! What else has she been doing to her?”

The Reddit community seemed to agree that divorce wasn’t the answer. Many suggested that the wife sounds like she needs therapy and may have postpartum depression. One comment reads, “I think you need to get your wife some counseling for possible mental illness. Maybe postpartum depression (which can last longer and go way deeper than most people realize initially) or maybe something more chronic.”

Another Reddit user wrote, “Honestly, my first reaction is that your wife is suffering from some degree of PPD that is being made worse by her mother. I’m guessing that her resentment of the name started from her mother’s influence and she’s super susceptible to the influence due to PPD.”

Some people think that the wife isn’t the only one who needs therapy. One comment reads, “Have you considered marriage counseling? None of this is normal and all of it is unhealthy.”

How would you react if you found out your spouse was calling your child a name that was different than the name on the child’s birth certificate without telling you?