Being a parent is never easy, and until you’re a parent, it’s hard to truly understand just how hard the job is. Don’t get us wrong; we love our kids and we love being parents, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy.

Parents want their children to feel safe and loved. They want their children to learn and have fun. They want  their children to grow up to be wonderful adults who can fully function on their own, and ideally who don’t need therapy to get over their childhood.

We assume that most parents have good intentions, but sometimes they do things that we would not want to repeat. With this in mind, Reddit user oompa-loompa-doopity asked, “What did your parents teach you that you would never teach your children?”

The answers are very enlightening. Scroll down to see 15 lessons that these Reddit users will not be passing on to their own children.

  1. Fear

    From Reddit user AV8ORboi:

    “to be afraid of them.”

  2. Apologize

    Reddit user twoplustwoisfour2008 shares:

    “That parents don’t have to apologize if they are wrong because they are parents. I grew up in a big family and many times one sibling would be blamed for another sibling’s action (both by parents or other siblings). If I yelled at sibling A for something sibling B did, I would be made to apologize to sibling A. If my mom yelled at me for something sibling A did, after everything was sorted I’d ask “Are you going to apologize to me now?” and she would said “I don’t have to, I’m the adult.” I have kids of my own now and if I do something wrong, I apologize.”

  3. Guilt

    Shared by IMissCuppas:

    “Guilt trips. All the damn guilt trips. Got one today from my mother actually. Eurgh.”

  4. Feelings

    From westondeboer:

    “My parents taught me not to share my feelings. It has taken me a long time to be able to do this. I dont’ want my kids hiding their feelings.”

  5. Insults

    Reddit user LetsPlayCluedo adds:

    “insults aren’t insults if they come from your family.”

  6. “Talking Back”

    Reddit user agbmom shares:

    “Never allowing me to tell my side of the story. When I was getting in trouble most of the time it was my fault or something I could have done about it. But there were times that there was an honest explanation that would have explained the situation and it was always “talking back”. Just give me a freaking second.”

  7. Okay, This Is Funny

    Reddit user RK800-50 adds a little humor:

    “How to rewind the VHS.”

  8. Comparison

    From Reddit user dramallama69420:

    “I would never compare my kids to other kids. Not only did it make me feel shitty back then, its made me unnecessarily competitive now and I seem to compare every little thing of mine with other people’s.”

  9. “Acceptable Careers”

    From DancesWithScalpels:

    “That the only acceptable careers in the world are: lawyer, doctor, and engineer.”

  10. Stress

    Shared by Reddit user viking162:

    “’There’s no reason to be stressed’ Everyone gets stressed whether it’s something big and life changing or small and inconvenient. Growing up my sister and I always heard ‘you shouldn’t be stressed about this. This isn’t a big thing to stress over’ and stuff like that. Instead of being taught to manage our stress, we’ve learned to hide it and bottle it up so our parents wouldn’t think we’re dramatic or something. Instead of teaching kids to ‘not be stressed’ I’d teach them how to manage stress in healthy ways so they can eliminate it or be able to navigate through it easily.”

  11. Body Image

    Reddit user sensualsqueaky wrote:

    “To be overly critical of my own body. My mom is otherwise wonderful but very insecure about her weight (she’s not overweight at all). I often got comments like ‘those jean look cute but don’t gain 5lbs’ and lectures about how I can’t go out around other people without makeup because ‘what will people think?’ But its unfortunate because she genuinely believes people are judging her that much. She apologizes every time we video chat if she hasn’t put on makeup yet.”

  12. Teachers

    From slothity-sloth:

    “That teachers are always right.”

  13. Don’t Question It

    Reddit user avocados-advocate adds:

    “To never question authority/your elders.”

  14. Crying

    Shared by one_geeky_amber:

    “That crying to them will make things worse, not better.”

  15. Too Supportive

    Reddit user funky_grandma adds:

    “My parents were unconditionally supportive. Everything I did was the best and perfect and I was a genius. I will be giving my daughter constructive criticism, because that is how we get better at things.”