When you have kids, your main goal is probably to raise them to be the best human being they can be. You know—always holding the door for someone, using basic manners like please and thank you, and just generally being a good, fun person.

But that’s sometimes that’s easier said than done. And when someone isn’t raised quite right, there can be some telltale signs.

In one recent Reddit thread, people went off about how to tell when someone wasn’t raised properly. Here are the top responses.

  1. Lack of personal accountability

    “They can never admit wrongdoing on their part. It’s always someone else’s fault.”

  2. Intentionally hurting someone else’s feelings

    “Someone that does things intentionally to hurt another person’s feelings after they’ve expressed that certain thing hurts their feelings.”

  3. Leaving behind a mess

    “You give them a lift and they leave rubbish in your car.”

  4. Being a rude boss

    “How they act as a boss when their employee messes up. Yelling and belittling shouldn’t be your first option.”

  5. Portraying themselves as a victim

    “Nothing is ever their fault and somebody is always out to get them.”

  6. Lack of manners

    “They never say please or thank you. They don’t respect anyone. They never see what they do is wrong.”

  7. Bad treatment of animals

    “[You can tell by] how they treat animals and people without power.”

  8. Littering

    “If you throw your crap on the floor, then you have no respect.”

  9. Committing crimes

    “They destroy things, steal and cheat. Some also commit more serious crimes.”

  10. Not being a good listener

    “They turn the conversation back to themselves at all costs. Being a good listener is a sign of a person raised well.”

  11. Never doing chores

    “They don’t know how to do normal household stuff. I’ve seen people that don’t eve know how to make their own coffee or clean a toilet.”

  12. Finger-pointing

    “They blame others for everything, even things that have no blame to place.”

  13. Leaving the shopping cart astray

    “Not putting the cart back at the grocery store.”

What do you think is a sign that someone wasn’t raised right?