When getting married, one of the biggest decisions you have to make isn’t what type of flowers should be on the table or what kind of cake flavors you’d enjoy—it’s what kind of vows you want to commit to your spouse.

Some people choose to write their own vows, and some take standard vow verbiage. Some even try to convert the two.

You’ve probably heard the line “In sickness and in health” before, allowing spouses to vow to always be there for each other, in good times or bad. However, one woman who was writing her vows decided she didn’t want to have “in sickness” in there—but is questioning whether this makes her a bad person.

She turned to Reddit to share her story. The truth was, she wasn’t sure if she could really promise her future husband that she’d always be there for him when he was sick. She was just trying to be honest:

“This is harsh but I hate taking care of sick people,” she explained. “My siblings and I were always taking care of our parents whenever they get sick and I just hate it, I’m sick of it and I hate feeling bound or obligated to take care of somebody.”

She explained that though she loves her fiancé, who she describes as the “best person in the world,” it would be hard for her to say these words and really mean them.

His vows will read: “I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”

For hers, she’d like to replace “in sickness” with “in happiness.”

However, her fiancé isn’t taking this very well. “My fiancé says that he will not accept this and he is very mad at me, he is even rethinking the whole thing, I just don’t want to take care of anybody sick and I think he is being very unreasonable right now, it’s just a marriage vow,” she says.

Most people who read the post agreed with her to-be husband. Take this sarcastic post: “How about changing it to ‘for better, richer, in health, in happiness, till inconvenience do us part’?”

Or this cold, hard truth: “We will ALL get sick and, eventually, die (unless we’re killed suddenly before that happens). That’s an unavoidable fact of life, and being someone’s life partner means dealing with that.”

And this good advice: “You can’t love people in slices. You have to take the good with the bad.”

Well, that settles that! We wonder what she ended up with for her vows.

What are your thoughts on this vow phrasing?