They’re not something to brag about, but affairs are fairly common. But if you couldn’t imagine having one, then you might wonder what affairs look like to others who engage in them.

That’s why, in a recent “Ask Reddit” thread, a curious fellow asked people who were involved in an affair while in a relationship to share their stories. Here are the top answers:

1. The Work Affair

   My wife and I were constantly fighting. My wife was lying to me and hiding stuff from me. I met a woman at work in a similar situation. Her husband was doing drugs and being cruel to her. We started talking about it, complaining to each other about our horrible home lives while at work. We became friends, then lovers. I cheated on my wife with her for months before we were finally caught (because I am a man and men are stupid!) My wife wanted a divorce once she knew I was cheating. We divorced…right after my lover also left her husband. Lover moved in with me in my little post-divorce efficiency apartment, and we’ve been together ever since. That was about ten years ago, and we’re still together. We got married about three years ago. My life lesson: You can find the right woman at the worst time.

2. The Wife Called Her

   Not me, but my sister was unwittingly the other woman. She found out when they went on vacation and the wife called her and informed her that he was married with 4 kids…to add to the creep factor, his wife had just recently given birth and he named the child after our younger sister!

3. Even Grandparents Can Have Issues

   My grandfather cheated on my grandmother, and tried to name my mom after the other woman. My grand mom found out before my mom was born, though, and so she left him and named my mom after herself.

4. With the Best Friend

   “[My wife’s] first of many affairs was with my best friend. This wasn’t your run-of-the-mill best friend, I knew him since puberty basically, long before my wife even. I actually supported him and his wife and kids, and even his parents for most of my adult life. I will survive on a human level, but I am devoid of emotion at this point. I walk around still trying to pick up the pieces of my heart from my past but I don’t think I’ll ever find them. I consider myself ruined.”

5. Lust at a Club

   We met at a club and hooked up the next day. Our attraction was too much so I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years to be with her. We’re still together 4 years later and live together.

6. Double Trouble

   My biological mother cheated on my dad multiple times. My dad found out and divorced her and then re-married. My stepmother cheated on my dad two years ago with a guy they met while on vacation in Cabo. They are still together and they worked it out to some degree. My dad = best guy in the world..terrible choices in women.”

7. An Old Fling

   Old gf from college emailed me. We’d ended on a strange note years ago. Unfinished business. We were both married. Email continued. I was going to be at a bar near her one night. I told her, she met me. It was like no time had passed. Ridiculous chemistry like from day one. We kissed. It was like electricity coursing through my body. It was intoxicating. I think we both knew it was not the end. I wanted more of that feeling at just about any cost. Addictive. Fast forward a year, we had been meeting each other about twice a month, sometimes only once a month, but we talked every day. Email, text, phone. Eventually she got caught, spilled everything. Melt down. Husband messaged my wife on fbook. She called him, he told her everything. Chaos. Mistress doesn’t work and has a kid with husband. Dependent on him. She stayed and he is dealing with it. I used the momentum to get out of a relationship I obviously should have ended sooner (I guess). No children, married less than 3 years. She’d work past it but I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do so I’m holding to staying apart. Mistress has not replied to any text or email since. Now I have nothing.

8. All The Cheating

   I cheated on a gf in college (with an old fling) when I thought we were breaking up, but later we fell even more in love. I got so sick with guilt and anxiety I had to tell her (which was even more selfish of me?) We tried to work it out and even got married but obviously things did not go as well after. I’m almost 40 now and I still regret it and I still get anxiety about it sometimes. Not worth it. At all. Then karma caught up. After we split up, I started dating my “dream woman.” My ex wife comes by and tries to get me to cheat on her, but I resist. Shortly after I find out my dream woman has been cheating on me with her ex.

9. Man in the Middle

   I was the other woman. I ended up befriending him and his wife as a friend. Her and I went to lunch one day and I spoke with her about open relationships and told her she should try to date other people outside of her marriage if she wasn’t happy. She did. She left him a few months after I left him, both of us did so because he treated her poorly.

10. Cat Fished

    I had been married for five years..we were in a rough patch..met the other girl online on a message board and we just talked..it was emotional cheating and It was affecting my marriage. I stopped talking to my wife like I used to and things just got worse..after about a month I couldn’t do it and left my wife. All the while never having actually met up with the other woman..we talked every day and would send pictures..this went on for almost two years and I’ll end this with I got cat fished..it is the biggest mistake of my life and I regret every day that goes by but my wife (we’re technically still married) is in a happy/better relationship with a great guy now so that kinda makes me feel some what ok..she deserved better and she has it.

11. Left With Nothing

    I was dating a girl in college and we had been together for almost a year. The first ten months or so were great but something within her switched. She became incredibly selfish, possessive, and rude. Not exactly the best combination of personality traits. I figured it was just a phase so I stuck it out for a little longer but I was starting to become miserable. About that time, I met a very sweet and cute girl in one of my classes. She was way out of my league but she showed interest in me and we really clicked. I decided I was going to break up with my girlfriend and give it a try with New Girl. Unfortunately, my girlfriend ended up getting a horrible case of kidney stones which included several stays in the hospital. I could not bring myself to break up with a bed-ridden girl who was in constant pain. So, I didn’t break up with her, I just started dating the New Girl. She had no idea that I had a girlfriend. I eventually broke up with my girlfriend, told the New Girl that I had a girlfriend all along and they both moved on. I absolutely got what I deserved but I still wish things would have worked out with either one of them. They were both awesome girls. They’re both happy and in great relationships now and I’m single with no prospects. So it goes.

12. A Different Perspective

    I was the guy that a girl cheated with. I did not know she had a boyfriend at the time, but basically I met her at a party, that her boyfriend was at apparently, and asked her out later- she said yes, and we just started dating for six weeks. She kept making excuses for time that I assumed was cultural differences. About 6-7 weeks later, I broke up with her. Within that next week, she tried getting back together with me twice. A week after I broke up with her, I was invited to a party and once I got there, I was told someone had to talk with me. Turns out it was the BF, and he just kinda asked me questions about it. Once he understood that I had no idea that they were dating, he said thank you and left. I have no idea if they broke up, but if I were to bet on it I would say they were back together, he was whipped, which kind of makes me understand why she cheated with me. She kept saying how I brought the excitement back into her life. They had been together for 2 years. I felt guilty for about two weeks, then I moved on.

13. The Unexpected

    My wife looked at my phone, listened to my voicemails, and read my email. She confronted me and I confessed. She responded by saying that finding me out turned her on. She said she enjoyed seeing me attract other women. I was taken aback. [After that,] I don’t think my wife and I left our apartment for two weeks.

Have you or someone you know ever been in an extramarital affair? How did it turn out?