Parenting is arguably one of the hardest jobs in the world. Having to raise a young human in this chaotic world, doing your best to love and support them while also trying to make sure they turn out to be good people, is understandably terrifying.

We do our best to share tidbits of wisdom we’ve learned along the way in an effort to guide our kids — maybe it’s advice our parents gave us, maybe it’s something we’ve learned from our own experiences, or maybe it’s something we THINK we’re “supposed” to tell our children.

Whichever way you learned it, giving your kids some guidance is extremely valuable…most of the time.

There are some pieces of advice that, although they might seem encouraging, can actually stunt a child’s growth in some ways. Here are six examples of those lessons to avoid teaching and how to rephrase them with some nuggets of wisdom instead.

1. Play to Your Strengths

Instead: “Failures make you strong.”

There’s nothing wrong with encouraging your kids to pursue art because they have a knack for drawing! Nurturing passions and talents is definitely important. But there’s a difference between that and trying to shelter them by preventing them from doing things outside of their comfort zone.

It’s a hard lesson to learn, but trying something and failing can be huge moments for growth. Just make sure your child knows it’s okay to fail!

2. Keep Busy

Instead: “Don’t forget to take some time for you.”

In today’s world, burnout is often worn as a badge of honor — which it shouldn’t be. You might think working 24/7 is okay for you, but do you want your kids to grow up thinking they can never take a break?

Make sure that you impress upon them that taking some time for themselves is imperative for their mental health.

3. It’s a Dog Eat Dog World

Instead: “Keep alert, but aim to treat others with compassion.”

While it would be unrealistic to not teach your children the dangers of this world, it’s harmful to teach your kids that the world is ONLY bad. Try finding a balance between teaching your kids to stay alert (“Don’t talk to strangers” ect.) and teaching them to treat people with compassion in their day-to-day lives.

There’s a big difference between making sure your kid is safe walking home from school and making them feel like they have to be tough in front of everyone they meet.

For the other three pieces of advice to avoid, make sure to watch the video below!