Man Wants to Know If He’s the Jerk For Not Wanting To Do Nighttime Diaper Changes

Having a newborn baby is tough. They’re waking every few hours to feed, need their diaper changed often, and cry at all hours of the night. No wonder new parents are stressed out.

Newborn life can be especially tough on breastfeeding moms, since no one else can help you feed your child. In those early days, waking up every few hours to nurse can be downright unbearable. If you have your partner to help you, you’re considered pretty lucky.

However, if your partner is reluctant to help, that can really take a toll on your relationship. After all, the baby is both of yours, even if the breastfeeding mom is the only one who can feed the baby. Doesn’t that mean the partner should be even more willing to help with other things?

One new dad took to Reddit to vent about the opposite—that he felt his wife, who was breastfeeding, should be the one to change the middle of the night diapers, since she gets up to feed the baby anyway. Did he really have to get up too if she was already up?

“My partner and I have a five week old baby who is exclusively breastfed. He will wake up three to four times a night to nurse for 20-40 minutes per time,” he explained in the viral post. “My argument is that she’s already awake to nurse, so she should do the diaper changes too. I have offered to do half the diaper changes, but that’s not enough for her.”

However, he explains that his wife thinks that because she’s breastfeeding, she needs help in the diaper department.

“My partner thinks that I should do all the nighttime diaper changes since she’s breastfeeding,” he explains. “Her argument is that since she’s nursing day and night, it’s only fair. She says she needs time to go to the bathroom, drink water, etc, while I am changing the diaper.”

He also explained that they’re both on parental leave at the moment, but he’ll have to go back to work in construction—where he says he’ll need a “full 8 hours’ sleep”—much sooner than she’ll have to go back to her job. So he feels he’s entitled to that sleep now.

He ends the post asking Reddit if he’s the jerk or is his partner.

Most people believed it wasn’t even a question—he was definitely the jerk in this situation.

“Your wife is exhausted, physically and due to lack of sleep. You have no excuse especially while you’re on parental leave. She does need to use the bathroom, drink water, whatever – to take care of herself, so she can take care of your son,” someone explained to him. “Parenthood is about shared responsibilities and partnership. You need to grow up and share the burden.”

“Your wife has not yet recovered from childbirth, your son is exclusively breastfed, you are both on parental leave… and you have the guts to say that since she’s awake at night, she might as well change your son after she nurses him,” someone else said. “..and you don’t see how selfish everything you say is?”

“Stop whining. Be a partner, Dad, husband, and help out,” another person told him. “This ‘I’ll change 1/2 of the diapers’ is pure bs.”

It’s unanimous: This dad is clearly the jerk! What would you tell him?