Becoming a parent is life-changing. If you are a parent yourself, you know that. Life is different and will always be different once you have kids. Now you have tiny humans who rely on you for everything, and even when they’re all grown up, you’ll still be their mom or dad. You’ll still want to help them and care how they’re doing.

Some people are more excited about the idea of having kids than others, and that’s okay. Not everyone has to have children, and some people choose not to.

One dad-to-be turned to Reddit to ask for some advice. He explained that he and his wife had decided that they didn’t want to have children. She was on birth control, and it was “a complete surprise” when she found out she was pregnant.

He explained that when they saw the baby for the first time via ultrasound, his wife immediately decided that she wanted to keep the child. He wrote, “I respected her decision, even if I wasn’t the happiest about it.”

Fast forward, and now his wife is 7 months pregnant. That means there are only 2 more months (or less if the baby comes early) before the baby will be born. Yet, the dad still isn’t excited about becoming a dad.

He explained that his wife wanted to have a gender reveal party, so they did. He knows that 7 months is late for a gender reveal party, but they waited that long due to the pandemic.

When the baby’s gender was revealed, his wife was very excited and gave him a big hug. He wrote, “I hugged her back, just not with the same energy. She looked at me with a concerned face but went off to hug some of her friends and family. Once it was over and we got everything put up she blew up at me. Said I embarrassed her in front of her family and the least I could’ve done was pretended I cared.” He continued, “She said that she understood that I didn’t really want to have a baby but that since they were almost here that I should probably lose the attitude already.”

Now, the dad to be wants to know if he was wrong for not pretending to be excited at the baby shower. Redditers are quick to point out that his wife isn’t really upset about his lack of excitement at a party but that it’s more important than that.

One person wrote, “I think your world is changing dramatically in a way which you weren’t prepared for, and that therapy is almost definitely required. It’s not wrong to be freaked out, but you’ve decided to go ahead with this, and now you need to find a way to come to terms with it— ideally before the kid arrives, so you can parent your child in the fullest and best way possible.”

Another Reddit user wrote, “You had an initial plan. The plan has now changed. So it’s time to reevaluate. Can you get behind the new plan? These are only questions you can answer. Maybe your reticence is from fear of the unknown/if you can be a good parent. Talk to your wife through these fears. Maybe your reticence is true resentment over the change in circumstances. Then you know you have to go. There could be a miraculous moment when you hold your child for the first time and are suddenly overwhelmed with awe and love, but life isn’t a Hallmark commercial, and I wouldn’t bank on it. You need to have conversations with your wife and spend some time doing some serious self-reflection.”

Do you think the dad to be should’ve pretended to be more excited at the party? Do you think he needs therapy to come to terms with becoming a dad?