Do you remember school dances? In particular, do you remember middle school dances? We remember boys huddling on one side of the gym (or wherever the dance was being held) while the girls huddled on the other side of the gym. Eventually, couples would start dancing and friends would dance together. The fear of rejection may have prevented many boys from asking girls to dance.
Fear of rejection is a real thing, but one school in Utah wants to take away that fear. They don’t want to take it away by teaching kids how to process and accept rejection. No, they want to eliminate the option of rejection.
Alicia Hobson is a mom to an 11-year-old girl named Azlyn. Recently, there was a Valentine’s Day dance at Azlyn’s school, Rich Middle School in Laketown, Utah. Azlyn was super excited about it. Unfortunately, something that happened at the dance turned the experience into a negative one.
A boy asked Azlyn to dance. This particular boy makes Azlyn feel uncomfortable, and she didn’t want to dance with him. She tried to politely say no, but when the principle overheard her rejecting the boy, he told her she couldn’t say no.
Alicia was furious when she found out, and the immediately contacted the principle who refused to change the policy. Then Alicia reached out to the superintendent, but that wasn’t helpful. Finally, she vented about the situation on Facebook.
“He [the principle] said my option is to either accept this policy, or keep my daughter home from school when they have a school dance. I emailed the superintendent and told him the response I got from the principal and asked him if he has anything to add to that, but he has not responded. He has been copied on all emails since this incident happened and is well aware of the situation, but has not said a word so far.
My next step will be to contact the Utah Board of Education. I appreciate the support I’ve gotten from everyone. I’m so angry right now for all the kids in that school. Why can’t they just have a fun school dance and not be forced to dance with kids they don’t want to dance with? What if my daughter doesn’t feel safe with the boy who asks her?”
Moms and dads are with Alicia on her stance. One dad commented, “Thanks for posting this. I can’t believe your school’s policy on this. Our 11 year old daughter recently declined an invitation to her dance from a boy and then expressed guilt and remorse about it. I assured her that NO ONE is allowed to guilt or shame her into doing something she doesn’t want to do. It was a great talk. I hope your school board changes this awful policy. Good luck!”
Parents with daughters aren’t the only ones who agree with Alicia. One mom commented, “I’m a mother of only boys. They have expressed concern of rejections. I told them to take chances of asking, because you never know. If rejected, then that’s life. This policy is ridiculous! You fight like HELL, MOM!!!”
What do you think about this schools “you can’t say no” policy?