There are always two sides to every story—even a homewrecker’s. Sure, we’re always quick to judge, but in a recent Reddit thread, people who consider themselves “homewreckers” who shared how it impacted their lives. And it’s pretty interesting to hear it from their side! See 13 people’s stories below!

1. So Much Guilt

   “Had an affair with a married man. Yes, I knew he was married. Yes, I knew his wife. Yes, I thought she didn’t understand him and we were true love. Yes, he ended up cheating on me with a married woman who ended up leaving her 2nd husband for my ex. They are still together. It was the worst thing I ever did and I hope when I die his ex-wife joyfully dances on my grave; I deserve it.”

2. The Biggest Regret of Their Life

   “I hooked up with a roommate/landlady, dumb move off the bat I know, because she told me they were in an open relationship. I confirmed with her bf that they were in an open relationship but neither of them told me that roommates were kinda off the table. I went ahead with it because it was the first time a woman showed was into me without me trying. It was a great confidence boost and I hadn’t had many before. We got together a few times before I found out the bf wasn’t cool with it, broke it off because I felt lied to, but the damage was done. The entire vibe of the house changed, it was a pretty big house with multiple rooms being rented out. At the start we had house meals sometimes and game nights, just a general friendly vibe. Afterwards we all kinda isolated and I apologized to the guy, I didn’t know exactly what was going on and I felt terrible about it. In the end the great place I had found with awesome people just fell apart and its probably the biggest regret of my life, everyone moved out and I hope the couple were able to work things out without me being there as a reminder.”

3. It Led to a Career Change

   “Fell in love with my best friend at 17. He was in a multi-year long relationship with an amazing woman, but I didn’t really know her. He told me everything I wanted to hear and was the first man I’d met to express that kind of interest in me. I was young, dumb, and insecure. So I fell for it (and all the BS he spewed about the reasons his girlfriend wouldn’t be mad, he was protecting her mental health by staying with her even though they were totally done, she was unstable, etc.) and we were in a full-blown romantic and sexual affair for a few months. He ended up kind of ghosting me after that, gaslighting me about the seriousness of our relationship, and continuing to date his girlfriend until she left him for another guy (good riddance lol). I struggled with trust and self-loathing for a long time after that. Ended up dedicating my life to researching and treating infidelity/relational challenges. I now work as a couples therapist and am very passionate about what I do! I want to someday publish research on the psychological rationalization and aftermath that extra-dyadic partners (homewreckers) experience. For how common it is, there is virtually no research about that third person, what gets them to participate, and the impact. I am also in a loving relationship with a great guy.”

4. Ended in a Friendship

   “I messed around with a girl a handful of times until I found out her boyfriend was in Iraq. She’d left her laptop up when she was in the shower. I’m kinda a POS and decided to snoop around for nudes, found her email and the emails from her boyfriend. Talking about marriage after he gets back. I copied down his email address and then wrote him later. Told him everything. Boy was he pissed. He dumped her. Him and I are going to a Football game in November.”

5. Everlasting Trust Issues

   “I haven’t dated a woman for over a year and a half now. Can’t trust. Found out she had a fiancee and she made a huge host of false accusations, I had text messages from her, emails, hours long incoming calls from her, etc etc…. all proving that no i wasn’t what she was making me out to be. All because she wanted to salvage her relationship with her fiancee… whom I had no idea existed.”

6. Platonic, Until it Wasn’t

   “I was so in to a coworker in college, and we started hanging out after work smoking and cruising even though we both knew he had a gf. It was platonic, until it wasn’t. He eventually left his girl but by then I had realized if he would do that to his long term Gf why wouldn’t he do it to me at some point? Even a year later when we reconnected after both dating other people, I still couldn’t get over that thought. Never did officially date him, which is too bad because I did really like him.”

7. Still Gets Brought Up 20 Years Later

   Ughhh….here it goes. Slept with a married man for years. He lied and told me they were divorcing as soon as the kids got out of high school and they were only together for the kids. She ended up showing up at my work and confronted me….of course I told the truth and holy sh*t did my life suck after that. I fell for the lies hook, line and sinker. Turns out he was a sex addict. Had been with many, many women and I guess I was the only one dumb enough to tell her the truth. I was know as the “home wrecker” and 20 years later it still gets thrown in my face. Funny how the one that had vows with her and children got zero punishment, yet I got bashed and shunned for falling for his BS. I was only a teenager (19) then. It literally destroyed my life and self-esteem. He was a professional manipulator that took advantage of a young naive girl and wrecked her young world. God, I hate that man.”

8. Loss of Friendships

   Lived with a guy for several years that was sort of the home wrecker. Basically he was shagging a married chick that had 2 kids. She would hang out at our place a lot. Eventually roomie caught the feels for her and gave her an ultimatum: to leave her husband and be with him. Well as you can all guess she did not. So he called her husband and told him about the affair. In the end her and her husband are still together and my roomie got lost in drugs culminating with me discovering him cooking meth in his room. He later got arrested and spent a few years in TDOC custody. I no longer speak to either.”

9. The Guilt is Real

   “I hooked up with an older woman once and her husband walked in on us. I immediately left while they were crying and screaming at each other. Found out a couple weeks later that the husband killed himself because of it. To this day I have supreme guilt and slight trust issues. But the person I’m with now makes it better, I love her to the moon and back.”

10. Lessons Learned

    “I’rescued’ a girl from a ‘horrible’ boyfriend. I was 21, just moved to the big Apple, and single as hell. To me it was his fault, looking back at how it all went down I realized, he might have sucked but he didn’t do anything to harm her and she was to chicken to call it off, so I was the exit plan. I learned not to mess with anyone’s personal life like that and if someone truly wants to be with you, they would do things the right way.”

11. The Truth Always Gets Out

    “I’ve been with a guy once who only told me he had a girlfriend after we hooked up. I hate people who cheat so I told him to tell his girlfriend or I’d do it. He did it himself luckily.”

12. A Relationship Spy

    “I was unknowingly a home wrecker. I happened to meet an old acquaintance from high school about 10 years after high school. Friend of a friend type of thing. We chatted at the party we met at, exchanged numbers and went out for a little while. He had a son and the relationship with the mother had ended about 6 months before we happened to see each other at that party. One day, at work, I get a call and it’s a lady asking me questions about dude I’m seeing. I told her everything, especially the part about being told they had broken up months prior. I had nothing to hide and nothing to lie about. I told her everything, as I would prefer it if someone did that for me. She called me for months, it got to the point that I had to tell her to leave me alone. Year later I help my SIL by walking her dog a couple of times a day while she’s out of town. Here comes lady running down the street yelling my name. Interrogation begins, why am I walking SILs dog, etc. I tell her the deal, very polite. Turns out she was GREAT friends with SIL, it was like I could never escape this lady. Even more years later and the timeline memories are screwed up, she begins telling SIL I was cheating on her brother (my husband) with her man. The whole horrible situation happened at least an entire year before I met my now husband. Doesn’t matter, they are convinced. All contact has been cut, moved states, just ridiculous. Watch out for lying dudes! It was like an STD but it was a woman.”

13. Papers Ready to Sign

    “An old boyfriend got in touch with me one day years ago. I wasn’t exactly on good terms with him but his apologies seemed sincere. We were getting on well until he had his friend tell me that he was trying to work things out with the mother of his child. Turns out, he was engaged to her the entire time and got married to her two weeks later. I don’t think he ever found out about me, but last I heard, he’s going through a really messy divorce. I really hope his ex wife and kids will be ok.”

Do you have a homewrecker story you’d like to share?