On Thursday May 2nd, 2024, actress Valerie Bertinelli posted a video on Instagram where she shared her thoughts about her son, Wolfgang Van Halen, her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen and the choices she made during the years they were married.

Bertinelli started the video by sharing that she “was finally able to watch Wolfie’s ‘Behind the Music.'” Her son had been asked to tell his story in a ‘Behind the Music’ episode about his father.

Bertinelli explained that it was hard for her to watch the episode and said she “stopped it many times.” She shared that there were several reasons she had trouble watching it such as seeing her son’s “pain” and realizing “what a better job I could’ve done as a parent even though he turned out magnificently.”

Then Bertinelli talked about her relationship with her ex-husband. She shared, “I fell in love with him when I was 20, and it rapidly declined into drugs and alcohol and infidelity. Nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream ‘soul mate,’ that’s for sure.”

Despite not feeling like Van Halen was her “soul mate,” she was still by his side the day he died. She shared, “After Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn’t lived with for 20 years.”

While Bertinelli made it clear that she didn’t feel like her ex was her “soul mate,” she also made it clear that she doesn’t regret the marriage for one very important reason. She explained, “What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved. That’s what I got out of that marriage was Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me. Not a soul mate.”

You can hear Bertinelli explain her reaction to watching “Behind the Music” in her Instagram post below.

 

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A post shared by Valerie Bertinelli (@wolfiesmom)

Bertinelli previously explained to PEOPLE, “I continued for years to rewrite the facts in my head and build them into some sort of fantasy. But now I know we were never going to get back together.” She added, “We were becoming kinder souls to one another. Our bond was the unconditional love we had for our son.”

Watch the video below to learn more about Bertinelli and Van Halen’s relationship including details Bertinelli previously shared about her experience visiting her ex in the hospital the day he died.