When picking the perfect name for you future child, you of course go through the works: You want one that’s unique enough for your kid to not be in the same class as 18 other “Jessica”s, but you of course don’t wan them to have a super unusual name that will get them teased, either.

Alas, it turns out that even people with completely common and normal names still get teased. In a recent Reddit thread, people shared how they got teased because of their completely common name. Here are some of the wackiest answers.

Man, kids are brutal!

  1. Luke

    “Kid threw up once in 3rd grade and became Luke Puke. Lucas could also become Mucus, as someone else pointed out.”

  2. Ryan

    “This was my husband’s story and the reason he didn’t want to name our oldest Ryan. He knew a kid named Ryan who cried rather easily in early elementary and became Cryan.”

  3. Grayson

    “Take out the r and you have ‘Gay son.’ One mom of a more sensitive son commented this one and says it has been an issue for a few years now.”

  4. Amanda

    “Kids made the ‘a man, DUH!’ jokes starting in like second grade but I thought it was hilarious, so they didn’t really get to tease me with it. I still use the joke on myself a lot. ‘I’ll just man(da) up and do it myself!’ is one of my faves, gets a laugh every time.”

  5. Rochelle

    “Changed the first syllable to Roach.”

  6. Michelle

    “Smelly Shelly.”

  7. Arthur

    “Art Fart because farts are funny. Didn’t even go by the nickname Art.”

  8. Richard

    “I’m proud to go to a school where ‘Richard’s are called ‘Bitchard.’ Much more mature and creative than Dick.”

  9. Cassandra/Cassie

    “Drop the c and I became Assandra or Assie. One boy thought this was very funny and continued to say it for years in school.”

  10. Elizabeth

    “They called me LizardBreath in elementary school.”

  11. Hannah

    “I got Hannah Montana for a while in school.”

  12. Mallory

    “Kids would quack at her because it’s similar to ‘mallard’ like the duck.”

  13. Maria

    “I was called Maria Diarrhea. (No, I didn’t have explosive shits in class or anything.) in middle school it evolved into Maria Gonorrhea.”

  14. Shea

    “I got called Gay Shea all the time. It still happens on occasion. Also, if I’m not paying attention my name can sound like shit- someone says “oh shit!” I don’t hear them and assume they’re saying my name. Also, “Shut up Shea” has a nice ring to it and I’ve heard that over and over again also.”

  15. Angela

    “Nay, mangela. Or more affectionately, flange.”

Do you have a common name that you got teased for?