Woman Posts to Facebook When “Moron” Cat Gets Loose, and a Wild Ride Ensues
Christopher Ingraham turned to Twitter to share a drama that unfolded when his cat, Ella, ran away from home. As he mentions in future tweets on the thread, he has three children under 5, so you can only imagine how urgent it felt to find the lost pet.
It all started when Ingraham’s wife posted about the lost cat on Facebook. That alerted the community that the family cat was lost, and Ingraham decided to tweet a play by play of the mission to find the missing cat. Buckle in for the ride.
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CAT DRAMA: This orange moron, one of our three cats, has been missing for 36 hours. Wife put out a missing kitty alert on Facebook (1/n) pic.twitter.com/QdXnhZaE68
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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One of the bar regulars, an octogenarian named Larry, overhears the conversation. “Huh,” he says, “I got woken up at 3 AM by some wild animal knocking shit over in my house.”
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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The animal ran off and his in his house, however. After an hour of dicking around and failing to catch it, Larry says “fuck it, I’ve gotta get to work.” He leaves, with the mystery animal still in his house.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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Larry won’t let us in the house. “I don’t let anybody in my house,” he says. Fine, he’s 80, still working, very nice dude, everyone in town loves him, he can live however the fuck he wants. We stand at the door and call for Ella. Ella doesn’t come.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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(ella’s a complete fucking idiot, btw)
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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I just also want to point out that Larry is the kind of guy who departs for work with an *unknown but clearly destructive animal running loose in his house*
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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As I read this there are only four possible outcomes:1. My dumb cat was in his house and has since escaped2. My dumb cat was in his house and has decided to live there3. An unknown animal was in Larry’s house4. Larry hallucinated the whole thing.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 3, 2019
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Oh shit Larry says he’s “figured it out” and will stop by in 10 mins. I have absolutely no idea what “figured it out” implies but my mind is racing
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019
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I can sort of see Larry’s house from our porch but nothing up there suggests cat shenanigans in one way or another. God I hope Larry didn’t hurt himself trying to extricate Ella from some idiotic predicament
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019
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lmao ok I just went up there again, Larry has no new info he had just been responding to my wife’s old FB post? He has not heard or seen the cat but has left food out and will report in the morning.
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019
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The nerve of this asshole. He was, indeed, holed up under Larry’s bed and only decided to emerge after lights out pic.twitter.com/0FPbcWaVEw
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019
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Already back at the door, yowling to be let out again. Incorrigible. pic.twitter.com/t5E9rdiHl6
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019
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FYI this is Larry, just so you have a picture in your head. I didn’t snap any pics last night bc he was half naked went I went to get the cat pic.twitter.com/9Gxy6Q49wS
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) June 4, 2019