Britney Spears finally broke her silence. In an emotional and heartfelt statement to Los Angeles probate judge Brenda Penny, the singer said that even though she has told her fans on social media that she is ok, she isn’t. In fact, she described abuse and quite traumatic situations which she explains were caused by the conservatorship that is controlling her life.

Watch the video below to learn more about Spears’ plea to judge Penny.

Variety published the entire transcript from Spears testimony. She said, “I’m not here to be anyone’s slave,” and went on to explain that there were many times when she was forced to work against her will, and if she said “no” to something, she was punished. For example, when she didn’t want to perform in Las Vegas, her therapist changed her medication, and she wasn’t allowed to leave her home.

Spears also claims that her father has enjoyed using the conservatorship to control her life and hurt her. She wants to sue her family, but more than anything, she wants the conservatorship to end.

Spears has had enough of pretending that she’s okay. She explained, “I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane. And I’m depressed. I cry every day.” Later she added, “I’m not lying. I just want my life back. And it’s been 13 years. And it’s enough.”

In addition to requesting an end to the conservatorship, Spears stressed that she doesn’t want to have to undergo a mental evaluation in order to be released from the conservatorship. She just wants to be free. Spears explained, “I shouldn’t be in a conservatorship if I can work and provide money and work for myself and pay other people — it makes no sense.”

Spears explained, “I want to be able to get married and have a baby.” She added, “I deserve to have a life. I’ve worked my whole life.”

Does it surprise you that Spears said she was lying when she told fans she was ok? Do you think the judge will allow the conservatorship to end without requiring her to be evaluated again?