We always hear that motherhood is isolating, and it sure can be. But we don’t ever really know quite what that means until we get there ourselves. We can explain it to friends and family without kids until we’re blue in the face, but until you witness it firsthand, you may as well be talking to a wall.
Well, until now. One perfect stranger was able to capture in a blurry photograph how difficult motherhood can be, and even people without little ones can understand it. It really puts into perspective the way it can isolate you, even when you’re surrounded by loved ones.
The woman who captured the photo was sitting eating lunch at a restaurant and noticed a mom trying to entertain her baby with a balloon. She was doing everything in her power to make sure the baby was content, but it was at the expense of her own fun. Her family was enjoying a birthday celebration just a table away, eating food, drinking drinks, and having a merry old time.
“No one stepped in to let HER enjoy being part of the group,” the woman posted in her now viral Facebook post. “This image is an accurate visual of the constant, UNSEEN care-taking of motherhood many moms do that leave us out of the group. Either no one noticed the subtle work she was doing, or no one wanted to give up their enjoyment to let her have a taste of it too.”
This stranger even considered offering to hold her baby so she could have fun with her family, but she didn’t wan to overstep any weird boundaries. Instead, she wanted to show point blank the reason why new moms are susceptible to postpartum depression and other not-so-fun symptoms of this isolation that can happen.
“People wonder why postpartum depression, rage, and resentment are a common part of modern motherhood,” the woman stated. “We don’t just need better diagnosis and doctors to help new moms – we need our families and friends to notice us, and to help bring us back to the table.”
The stranger related really hard to this situation because she too has been there. “I vividly remember this stage and I remember writing in a journal that I never wanted to forget how isolating it felt at dinners and parties to be walking a baby around while everyone sips on wine and tickles the baby’s feet as I pass them instead of offering to help me eat without a human on me,” she said.
She posted the photo to bring awareness to the difficulties that are new mom-hood, and to hopefully encourage others to take notice of those around us and help out where they can…even if you haven’t been there yourself.
“Even if they can’t understand it because they haven’t lived it, this picture perfectly illustrates the divide that happens when no one steps in,” she says.
What do you think about this point of view on being a new mom? If you’re a mom, did you ever recall a time you felt isolated or depressed because you couldn’t join in on the fun around you? How will you help a struggling mom today?