You know you’ve had the talk before: What’s considered cheating? Is it flirting? A kiss? Doing…more than kissing? Cheating on your significant other can be a little subjective and doesn’t have a single definition.

However, most people think if there’s no touching involved, then it’s not cheating. But though it may not be physically cheating, there’s also such a thing as emotional cheating.

If you’re feeling a little guilty eyeing down your coworker, but not giving your spouse any love, even if you haven’t physically done anything, you may be having an “emotional affair.”

Here are 7 signs you might be cheating—emotionally:

  1. They know a little too much about you

    And not because they Facebook stalked you—because you share everything with them: Your problems, your happy moments, favorite movies, what you ate for breakfast, family history of disease…OK, we’re exaggerating, but point is, you talk to them a lot, whether it’s via text, call, FaceTime, etc.—and the more you do, the more you feel distanced from your spouse.

  2. They’re the first person you want to call when something happens

    They already know so much about you, and on top of that, whenever you have “news,” you immediately go to call or text them instead of your spouse. In fact, you might not even be sharing much with your spouse at this point.

  3. You start to lie to your spouse

    Or purposely omit key information. No, me and my really hot coworker who I love talking to weren’t on a lunch break together today. No, I didn’t delete any texts from them from my phone. No way did I stare into his eyes as we walked through the park…wait what?

  4. You think about them…a lot

    If you can’t get this person out of your head—you’re thinking about them before you go to bed, when you wake up, and all throughout your day—it could be a sign of an emotional affair, especially if your spouse isn’t showing up in your mind at all lately.

  5. You really understand each other

    Part of the reason you talk to them so much is because you feel like they just “get” you. You like the same things, think in similar ways, and find your life paths are similar. You may even feel like no one has ever truly “gotten” you in this way before.

  6. You’re comparing your spouse to the person

    …And wish that they could be like the person you’re in the emotional affair with. Why can’t my spouse compliment me like this person does? Why can’t they cook like them, or dress like them, or even talk like them? You might even start to paint an unrealistic, yet ideal picture of the new person, who starts to look much better than your spouse.

  7. You share your frustrations about your partner with them

    If your partner is getting on your last nerve (see #6), your new person is who you want to share it with. You find yourself venting about all your problems with your spouse with them, bad mouthing them, and on the other end of the spectrum, they’re on your side completely.

Have you ever had any of these feelings, or experienced an emotional affair before? What other signs would you add to this list?

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