13 Women Share the Reasons Why They Have Never Wanted Kids
Some little girls grow up playing with their baby dolls pretending they’re a mom. They rock the baby dolls to sleep, get them dressed, feed them and take them for walks in a doll stroller. They grow up dreaming of one day having a real baby of their own. These little girls know they want to have children someday.
Not all little girls are like that. Not all girls grow up dreaming of having children, and they don’t magically change their minds when they become adults. Sometimes they just end up annoyed by hearing friends, family members and strangers ask them how many kids they want or when they’re planning to start a family.
BuzzFeed shared a story about people who regretted becoming parents, but the story didn’t end there. Many women felt compelled to comment on the story about why they are not going to regret becoming parents – they’re not going to have kids in the first place. Many of them gave specific reasons about why they are sure they won’t regret their decision not to have kids.
I’ve always known that I was too selfish to have children. I don’t want to deal with the crying, the education, and the costs. If more people were honest and used birth control, we wod have a lot more happy people.
Children Deserve to Be Wanted
I’m 35, I don’t have kids, I don’t want kids, and this is the #1 reason why I’ve come to that decision. I like kids, I’m GREAT with kids, but kids of my own just are not in my heart. I REFUSE to have a child and then regret it. I cannot BELIEVE the pushback and disrespect I get from so many people, including some of my own friends, about my decision. It usually ends up with them calling me selfish for not having children. Like… excuse me? What’s selfish is bringing another human into this world when I don’t really want it. That little soul deserves more than that. I grew up with cousins who had parents that didn’t really want children, they just had them cause it was “the thing to do.” I have seen first hand the damage and trauma that comes with having parents that don’t really want you. It’s horrific, and I WON’T do that to another person who had no choice in who it was born to.
I’m not having kids because I’d just resent them honestly. I feel like people change (and rightfully so) after having kids, it absorbs their identity and turns them into just parents. I don’t want that for me, I’ve seen people around me go through it and I just don’t want it for myself.
Rather Be an Auntie
I am so glad I stuck to my guns about being child free. I like kids, and I adore my toddler nephew to pieces; he’s gonna grow up spoiled and loved by his auntie. But I knew I couldn’t handle the constant care, stress, worry and all that goes with having your own child. I know it would blow me apart loving them so much, but also blow me apart with depression, sadness and stress.
Parenthood Is Not Appealing
I honestly do not understand why anyone would want to have kids. It just makes no sense. They take over everything and make things so much harder and complicated. I see my friends struggling and giving up everything they once enjoyed and see no appeal.
Not Changing My Mind
I’ve been telling people I don’t what children since I was a child. They still tell me that I’ll change my mind. Just turned 36… sans children.
Happier without Kids
I’m glad I’m not having children and I hate how society has made it seem like you have to get married and have kids to have a truly happy and fulfilled life and I hate that so many people push that idea on others my mom sometimes pushes it on me but I don’t want any of it.
Too Much Chaos
I hate the noise, mess, chaos, and loss of identity that come with kids, and I truly don’t think my feelings would change if I had kids of my own.
“Just Buy More Dogs”
I’m 37 and covid is the first time no one argued with me when I told them I didn’t want any it’s honestly felt like I’m finally being heard. Luckily my mom didn’t sugar coat anything about how difficult being a parent is. When I was 6 I told my older cousin “I don’t know why people have kids, just buy more dogs” and I still feel exactly that way.
I don’t want children, never have, never will and there are a number of reasons for that, but one is that I have a lot of health problems, so not only would I not be able to physically care for a child, but I’m pretty sure they would also have health problems too. That doesn’t seem to be a valid reason to a lot of people and it makes me selfish apparently
“Kids Would Be Too Much”
Bella and her husband agree:
My husband and I decided before we even got married that we did not want children. I will have frequent conversations with each other to check in and make sure the other is still happy with our decision. Both of us had difficult childhoods and suffer from major depression. We’re lucky to take care of ourselves and our pets. We know kids would be too much.
All my life I’ve never wanted children. But I’ve always had to deal with people questioning why, and telling me I will change my mind. I’m turning 30 soon and, no surprise, my mind hasn’t changed!
“Don’t Have That In Me”
I personally don’t want kids. I have too many health issues that take all of my energy. I also just don’t want kids, period. I was an only child and unfortunately I wasn’t around kids growing up and now as a teacher I just know I couldn’t do it. I don’t have that in me. And that’s okay. I don’t feel ashamed for knowing that.