Ladies, it’s time we huddle up for a moment. We could all use an opportunity to talk about how Auntie Flo affects our lives when she visits each month.
It’s not always the breeziest. Somebody needs to purge the advertising departments that promote singing and triathlons when you’re on your period. It’s your flipping period. Go ahead, grumble.
We’re here to let you know you’re not alone in your thoughts or actions when your cycle starts to ratchet up. Whether you get melancholy, inquisitive, neurotic, compassionate, or empowered, there are some things we all have in common.
This list highlights some of those things that lots of us quietly go about doing when we’re about that menstrual life each month. Laugh!
You’re so freaking exhausted ALL DAY that you skip breakfast, have a nap for lunch, but then get takeout for dinner because you’re too tired to cook.
Crave the salty, crave the sweet, or crave both.
Have weeping fits over what happens to the birds and squirrels when it’s storming outside.
When you sneeze, you’re filled with regret and wonder about why biology connected your parts together this way.
You count down to when your period acne will fade away.
You shun hugs, jumping jacks, and stomach-sleeping because your boobs hurt.
You wake up to check the sheets, readjust your body, and sleep in a leak-prevention position.
You whisper-ask your coworker if she has an extra pad or tampon because you forgot to refill your stash.
You regular-ask your coworker for change, too embarrassed to ask for a pad but not too proud to buy a flimsy one from the office bathroom.
Take multiple showers a day, and then clean the scene each time like you’re covering up a crime.
Bring a jacket or sweater with you regardless of the weather, because you’re scared you may need to tie it around you later.
You don dark colors or special outfits as camouflage for bloat and self-consciousness.
Throw your shower towel in the hamper because you’re not sure if those drops you just wiped off your thigh are water or not.
Possess a collection of dedicated undies just for this monthly task.
You check your seat when you get up with the same slickness you use to perform the armpit sniff test.
After said seat-check, you either panic or cheer quietly inside your own head.
When at work (or school), you tuck your sanitary supplies into your waistband or bra so you can dash to the restroom.
When at work (or school), you sit in the stall, peeling the wrappings q-u-i-e-t-l-y off your pad like you don’t know whether to cut the blue wire or the red one.
Wear two pairs of panties, just to keep things in place.
The week before you know it’s coming, you stock up on chocolate chip cookies, candy bars, cake mix, ice cream, and 4 flavors of chips. Oh, and water too because for some reason you are perpetually thirsty.
You are a whiz at the strategic placement of pad adhesive, but occasionally get an unpleasant surprise when you’re off a few centimeters.
Feel like your water just broke, but you know it didn’t.
You go beyond the maximum time for your pad or tampon’s life span, living dangerously.
In public, you flush the toilet to disguise the sounds of what you’re unwrapping in the stall.
Start calculating when the next one is due to hit but decide to rely on your emotional barometer instead.
In ancient times, menstruation was considered something sacred. It’s a part of life! Today, we have chocolate to provide us some serenity, as can hot water bottles, quiet time, and the fetal position.
Want to understand the emotional and physical rollercoaster that Mama Nature brought us? Click on this informative vid to hear about the highs and lows that come with the moon cycle!
Which of these points can you relate to? What are some of your period rituals? Are your symptoms mild or wild?