11 Struggles That Everyone With a Unisex Name Faces

Have a name like Jordan? Alex? Sam? There are tons of names that work for both males and females, which is actually pretty cool. For this reason, unisex names are unique and some of the coolest ones out there.

However, there are lots of struggles that come with having a name that fits under this category. Before you meet someone and they just hear your name, they automatically assume you’re one gender or the other—and then when they meet you, they’re utterly confused why you don’t fit the description in their head.

It sounds simple to someone who doesn’t have a unisex name, but it gets really old for someone who deals with this on the regular. In fact, people with unisex names deal with quite a bit of annoyances throughout their lifetime. Here are just a few.

  1. People assume you’re “manly” or “girly.”

    If you’re a girl named Chris, people automatically associate you with being manly, and if you’re a male named Ashley, you probably get teased for being ladylike. Of course, you should never assume how someone is just by their name!

  2. You get weird stares when you first introduce yourself

    And you just sit there like, yes, I know, someone of the opposite sex could be named that too. I get it.

  3. People never get it right in email

    “Hello sir” or “Dear ma’am” are messages you get more often than you can count.

  4. And you dread having to tell them they’re wrong

    “Hi there, actually I’m not a ma’am, but that’s okay!”

  5. The phone is even worse

    “Hello?” “Oh, sorry I must have the wrong number, I was looking for Courtney.” “This is Courtney.” “Oh, sorry Courtney, you sound a little like a boy.” “I am a boy.” “Oh.” Awkward.

  6. Friends try to give you a name origin lesson

    Everyone seems to think they know the history of your name and how it totally did not begin as a girl’s name. “It’s definitely a boy’s name.” Then why am I a girl?

  7. They try to give it a new spelling

    “I think Jordan spelled J-O-R-D-Y-N is more feminine, so maybe you should go with that.” How about no?

  8. And ask if you’ve ever thought about changing your name

    To which you get pretty defensive, since that’s pretty offensive! You like you’re unique name, thank you very much.

  9. You make sure to thoroughly mark which gender you are on documents or forms

    Like underlines. And making it bold. And big. And people who refer to these documents still somehow always still get it wrong.

  10. You know other people of the opposite sex with your name

    Which gets really confusing, because if you’re in the same friend group, you’re often referred to as “girl Alex” or “boy Alex.”

  11. You can’t date certain people because of their name

    I mean, what would you write on your wedding invitations—Jamie weds Jamie? It’s all too weird.

Do you have a unisex name? What’s the biggest struggle you’ve found with having one?